First of all....

            

                                         BELATED!!!!

    I wasn't able to get on this for Halloween - so I hope everyone had a good one!  My oldest decided she was too old to TRICK OR TREAT and didn't go. She did dress up in a Ware-Wolf mask and hung out on the porch with her friends... she was surprised when some of her friends from school went by TRICK OR TREATING .... and as they told me they would be TRICK OR TREATING even when they're 18... I mentioned this to Tiff and she just giggled... LOL... 8th grade I was STILL Trick or Treating, but I guess this generation just doesn't know the meaning of "Fun".... smh... any way... My middle and youngest went as  Monarch Butterfly and Michael Myers... It was amazing to see all the girls and little kids screaming MICHAEL as my son passed... I joked with him and told him to say HI to his fans..especially the little ones who thought he was the real guy! LMAO.... he got a LOT of attention for it.

          

The kids had a good time, and got lots of candy as well... we dodged the rain for a few hours and got home just in time for it to pour! 
I had to laugh because some towns even canceled Halloween and made it Friday... seriously, how do you tell a child they can't TRICK OR TREAT on Halloween because of the rain???  This is Chicago where I live... we prepare for SNOW on Halloween... LMAO...
It also made me laugh a bit because my youngest daughter was sick the day before Halloween. She was throwing up and had a fever, so that night - I took her to the hospital and she seemed better ...she was laughing, joking, bouncing around and such... and she had no fever at the hospital...
well, one of the nurses told me she looks well hydrated, looks good, her cheeks are rosy, she has no fever..and that we can leave or stay but if we stayed , it would be about 4 hours before we even got a room. I did NOT want to wait that long, Lani did seem better... so , I turned the nurse if she got worse - we'd come back. The nurse agreed that was a good idea, and wrote down the things Lani should and shouldn't eat while being sick... she also told me NO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY, AND NO TRICK OR TREATING!
Yeah right - tell a 5 year old she can't trick or treat.....ppppffffftttt!!!!  I thought that was a little extreme and as a parent... didn't think that was nessassary to stop her from it if she was better.
Plus, the nurse didn't even seem like she enjoyed her job and had a shitty attitude to begin with.
Needless to say... I did let her go.. she was so much better, and she even had a great time in school at her Halloween party there! 

     Now - let's move on to things going on in my life....

   I finally got the e-mail I have been waiting for... In December... I will be taking my Chicago Police Exam. My mother knows a lot of cops and asked them if there is anything they think my brother and I should know before going in. (He takes his the 11th)... who would have thought us little cons would have been Cops?! lmao... seriously tho, one of the cops my mother knows told her we need to be honest about EVERYTHING , including all arrests in our pasts. I don't hide things going on in my life... or things I've been through. I'm pretty open about my life - past and present - and everything in my past is a lesson learned... I have been arrested in the past... but , for nothing big.. thankfully!  I keep my nose clean now and stay out of trouble. All my arrests as a Juvenile have been pety  - and my 2 arrests as an adult have been pety.... my brother has also been arrested ... his is more major, but that was a few years back, and I pray neither of us get held back because of it. We have both changed our lives for the better and are nothing like we use to be.
I'm excited and scared at the same time but this could be the big life changer I've been waiting for.  Ah ... in a month or so - I shall know the verdict and will share it with ya'll....... pray for me! 

      As for everything else....everything is okay... Looking for a new job, looking for an apartment to move... trying to get everything together... I recently started watching the 700 club every morning which is a great inspirational tv reality program where people call in with questions, prayers, etc. ... and a wonderful man and woman talk about faith, God, overcoming obstacles and such...and that's exactly what I've been dealing with lately...
from arguing with the father of my kids and him not wanting to accept me being with someone else and getting married...
to the kids needing to adjust to Angel and I... and their dad and I sharing joint custody of them...
to City tickets and some that I my not have even racked up... to Credit bullshit going on.... needing a new car... just so much crap going on in my life right now and I truely need miracles. I have the number to the prayer line the 700 club shows daily.. but haven't called it yet. Maybe Monday morning! 
I need prayer in my life... I've been looking for a good church to go to as well..and a women's Bible study or some kind of group for women to just talk and let out their frustrations. I think it would do me a lot of good .  
I've tried therapy once... and the therapist was more about the money than helping. She sat and starred at me, nodded her head, agreed with everything I said, and there was just a lot of awkward silences between her and I...
she came late one time because there was traffic and my appt. was at 10 AM... she was there at 10:20... apologized, and then at 11  -she told me she would see me the following week, and didn't even let me stay that extra 20 minutes I lost because she was late. I felt like I was left hanging in the middle of me talking... she just simply said, "Okay, i'm sorry to stop you but I have an 11 AM appt. as well"... um...ok????
I stopped going to her after a few sessions of not getting anything out of it.. and when she reminded me I owed $40 for my last session... I laughed and asked why I would pay that when I was left hanging because she was late?!  She never contacted me again , and No  - I never paid that bill. Nor  -do I plan to !  EVER!!!!....... I thought about going back to therapy with someone else... but decided a women's Bible group or some kind of talking / support group would be best... so I'm checking into that now. Just haven't found one as of  yet.

I'm also reading more books lately to keep my mind occupied ... I shall be doing my own book reviews here so if you're a reader as well, and I recommend books - check them out. I shall only recommend the best... and so far... I have read
              

                    All 3 books of this set!!!  Now, I can't say if you should def. check these books out or not...a lot of people we're buzzing about these 3 books which go hand in hand are continuings of the last book.... many said they loved them, many said they were MUST READS, and talked about how erotic and sexy they were... me??? I didn't really like them, I DON'T recommend them... total time waster if you ask me... and I was upset after reading the 3rd book, that I wasted my time on all 3 series. I was disappointed... I won't sit here and tell you the ending because after what others say about it, maybe you will like it even if I didn't... but ... I think the end could have been better... I think the end was a total mind blower (not in a good way either)... I could think of many different ways I would have ended this ... but not the way it ended originally... my suggestion? DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME....and if you already have... maybe you think different.

       Another book I've read recently was
 
                   

VERY GOOD - but very sad book ...true story of the OUR LADY OF THE ANGELS Chicago school fire over 50 years ago. 92 kids and 3 nuns parished in that fire, and as sad as it was... it made Chicago take a good look at schools, safety issues during fires and how to prevent something like this from ever happening again in schools all over... thus  - creating better fire alarms, fire drills, and different procedures in schools nationwide..thank God!  Terribly sad it took a tradgedy like this to create such great things for schools today to prevent more deaths like this in case of fires !   I would def. recommend this book. Be prepared to cry!  I did......

   Another great book I've read is
 
        

       

Dude is called the "Chocolate man"... I forget why... but - he basically kidnaps and kills little boys.. sad right? Dude has OCD... puts the boys shoes all in a row as a collection on his kitchen table I believe it is... and one day... Kidnaps who he thinks is a little boy because she's wearing a hoodie... when he finds out she's a little girl..........................................

well... you have to read the book to find out what happens.. but it really is a VERY good book and I def. recommend it. I actually have this book and haven't read it in a while. I plan on reading it again soon, that's how good it was. Def. what I call a "Page turner"... I wasn't able to put the dang book down!  LOL.... check it out!!!! 
I've also downloaded a few good books on my phone... (well.... the previews seemed good any way... )  so... I have def. been reading a lot more and will update on more books as I go...
I know some of you out there are big readers and so far  - these are the books I've checked out... if I come across any more good / or bad ones you do or don't need to read...I shall let ya know!  :)



      And, besides that  -  I called the city to see about  my city tickets and  how much I owe now - and they told me an amount greater than I originally owed.....I had no idea how that happened but I was told there's some red light violations from recently... here's the thing... I haven't even drove recently to be getting any red light violations.. I was told to look up my tickets online and see if the cars match any cars I've had, and even that's not working because when I type in my Drivers license number..it says it's NOT FOUND... why my license isn't found... is beyond me!  Either I really don't owe anymore tickets... or, something is going on with my license...but, I'm not a happy camper about it and I now have to go to the city of chicago or wherever they give print outs of tickets to make sure nobody is using my Idenity... great, isn't it?!  Not to mention my purse was stolen a few years back and I was told I have a house and car in my name ... so it's time to clean up that mess and track down the assholes who are ruining my life if any!  oy! 

       I'm dead tired tonight but I plan on doing something about it tomorrow and getting the proper numbers to call asap.
 
      With all this going on, I've had the worst headaches that come and go... I had a few good laughs tonight however,and I def. needed them.
My mother and I went to Mcdonalds and I was getting the kids some burgers. I had told the woman taking the order I wanted the "$1 Mcdoubles - and asked her if those were the ones for $1... I'm tired okay??? lmao... my mother lost it. She started laughing so hard...and asking if I heard what I just said... she then tells the Mcdonalds worker why we were laughing and the Mcdonalds worker started laughing.
I then come to my parents house , and my brother was saying something about the Devil. I told him "Shhhh... he doesn't know I'm here yet!".... my brother gave me this funny look and commented about how I have a space in hell reserved for me... and as soon as he went into the bathroom... the lights went out here...
he yelled that he couldn't wipe.. had me cracking up.. and I commented and told him, "Hey... that's what you get for talking about the Devil.. God told you, "How do you like this"???... we laughed and as soon as the lights came back on.. he yelled out, "God said..Let there be light!"... lmao....
always a good time here!
I def. needed the laughter tonight...

      Ah well, as my eyes are coming to a close...this shall too...

Have a great rest of the weekend all...
Peace and Love.

S.

<------  I swear, I tell it to my kids all the time!  LMAO....

        So, I know I haven't been on here for a while because I don't have my computer currently so it's hard to write from my crappy phone... but, lemme tell you what's been happening in my neck of the woods and give ya'll a few laughs in the mean time. 

  My son informed me last Monday he "disected" his first frog. I thought to myself, "They're starting that in Elementary school now?"... then I thought to myself, "wait a minute, you didn't have school today , kid!"... and asked HOW and WHERE.... he goes into this story about how one of his friends got a pet frog from his aunt for his birthday and he didn't want it.   (I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the rest at all, but I let him continue).... he tells me that his friend asked his mother if they could kill it, and his mother said "Yes, as long as you don't do it in front of the house!".... so , they all took this helpless frog down the block (my son, his friend and a few of their other friends)... and proceeded to stab at it, cut it, and such until it died... he got graphic and I was starving , but once I heard that... lost my appetite and couldn't eat AT ALL.... seriously, I tried!  :x      -  so, he showed me the spots on his sweater that were "frog blood" and told me how bad it smelled....and was nice enough to ask if I wanted to smell it. Isn't that sweet????? LOL -  I screamed about how he better PRAY AND BEG God for forgiveness and that the frog is one of Gods creatures and how wrong it was. ..... so, the next day, taking them to school - I see their grandma from their dads side and asked if he told her what they did to the frog. Frankie tells me NO - he didn't...and then asks me, "Did I tell you it was a real frog or a candy frog where juice squirts out?"..... I asked him to tell me the truth and he said it was just a juice filled candy frog. I had a FIT.... !!!!    I was so mad at him, but so thankfully it wasn't real because when he told me that, I had no idea how to make Frankie see how wrong it was... !   I'm tellin' you.... the kid drives me nuts.... LOL...
I then get an e-mail from his teacher about how he talked back to her one day last week, and mocked her , made jokes about something she had said, and plays around in class too much...so she wanted me to go sit with him one day and see how he behaves.  I did... I sure the hell did.... !  He asked if I was going to sit with him every day. I told him, "I sure the heck am, until your grades go up and you see I'm not playing around. I'll sing, I'll dance...anything to embarass you so you never want me in your class again!".... he laughed like I was joking. I don't mind embarassing my kids. I had them to have fun with them... LMAO.... !   Seriously tho, I went and sat in class with him...and for some reason, his teacher must have thought he was going to act up while I was there.  HA!   He grew a halo... !  He was so polite, quiet...did his class work, followed directions, paid attention, and during reading time where the kids get to sit any where they want and read to themselves....he sat at his desk quietly and read without a peep.   His teacher whispered that him sitting at his desk was a great idea because usually he sits by Josh and another boy, and plays around during that time... Josh is well known.  His mom knows Frankie and I... I know Josh and his mom.  When our boys get together... it's crazy-ness.   I told Frankie MY RULES from now on and how he's to read at his desk and NOT sit by Josh and the other boy he gets in trouble with, along with a few other rules he's to follow from now so I don't have to come back and sit with him until the end of the year, and he knows I will.... I went to Gym with his class as well where they played Soccer against the 5th graders. Frankie asked if I could be the score person... I said no, but the gym teacher heard him and told him, "Sure!".... and she handed me the board thing... the 5th graders scored 9... Frankie's class scored 1... and guess what??? MY FRANKIE made that 1 point! :) HELL YEAH!!!!! 
He was so happy and I was so proud.

     After gym, I had to laugh because he was talking to me, and the teacher had told him, "Frankie, just because your mom is here, doesn't mean you can talk to her as much as you want in the hallways!"... she gave me the choice to leave now that he knows I mean business, or stay the rest of the day. I told him, "I'm leaving, now you got me in trouble!"... lmao... but, he was cool with me going, and I made it clear I better not get anymore e-mails and he better not get in anymore trouble, and so far  -so good... nothing yet! 

Then last night, .... this kid had me laughing so hard although, I probably need to ask God for forgiveness for giggling.....I was telling the 2 oldest they need to get to Communion classes to make their first Communion and that I had to call the church by the house and see if I can get them in. Frankie asked what it was, and I was telling him, "That's when you get the wafer and the wine to remember Jesus' dying on the cross, and ask for forgiveness for any sins!".... Frankie says, "What am I going to say...?  Forgive me God for drinking all your wine?"........     Frankie has been excited about being able to taste the wine at church when he does make his first Communion,and I'm trying to explain that this is not a game...and this is something that needs to be taken religiously, and seriously.... but, the fact that he made that little joke.... I couldn't help but giggle a bit. I'm a mother.... okay???  These are the "Out of the mouths of babes" moments moms cherish.... it's wrong, but it's silly ...... so, I did explain that he shouldn't joke about it, and he got serious after that. oy! This boy ....

Not to mention he comes out of school last night with $2. I asked where he got the money from. He mentioned he got it from a dare that his friend dared him to do asking out 2 girls..one that Frankie likes, and one that his friend likes, and that both girls said YES to them, so he got the money from his friend. smh...Frankie then tells me he now has  a girlfriend named Aaliyah. I told him, "you THINK you have a girlfriend because you're now allowed to date!"... but, I'm not too worried about it because it's puppy crush type of stuff, and he only sees this girl in school. Not much can happen there with the teachers around between the beginning of school and the end of it..and someone - if not me - is always there to pick him up and bring him to school as well... so he has no time for funny business. He then mentions my oldest has a boyfriend. She said she doesn't, and she doesn't want one! GOOD ANSWER...LMAO... I told Frankie, "Tiffie is more worried about her basketball stuff and graduation, right Tiff?"...she said yes... Right answer again!.... I was proud hearing that. LOL...

Any way, if ya'll wanna laugh..let me share this story with you....

  I came across a woman in her late 50's this week sitting outside and she asked if I had a cell phone she could use. I gladly let her use mine without a 2nd thought. She called me sweetie and she was polite and all. She made 2 calls and I heard her telling someone where she was, and the address - and that she'd be waiting right there to be picked up. I'm thinking this chick is normal, so when she hangs up..she asks how to delete the calls she made from my phone. I deleted them in front of her and she thanked me and told me she does that now because she had called her sister and brother from another guys phone, and he kept calling them, leaving them voicemails, harassing them, threatening them and such... I was like, "Oh my God!"... and I showed her again to re-assure her, I deleted the calls and wouldn't be doing what he did. She thanked me, and once again - nothing out of the ordinary... she then tells me she called her sister to see if she was okay, because her sister got raped. Now... during the convos she was having, I didn't hear anything about her asking anyone if they were okay... but, maybe it was when I walked away to get coffee.. idk?!  She then tells me her sister has been raped over 900 times!  Now... 900 times is a little extreme... so I figured maybe she was just speaking in terms..ya know?!  Like saying a lot.... then she tells me her brother has been raped 3,500 times... her other brother 700 times... her other sister has been raped this many times, her other brother - that many times..and she just kept going and going..and I felt like asking how many brother and sisters she has!  ... it was really stranger. LOL... and I almost sat down and be-friended this woman... she then goes on and on about different Police departments, how she's Psychic, and a bunch of other shit. What REALLY made me realize how nuts she was, was when she mentioned her brother in law just got killed at UNION station, she was trying to get over there, and how Barak and Michelle Obama raped her.  YES... you read that right!! lmao.... that's when I knew this lady belonged in a stray jacket...! 
I felt like telling her .......................

But, I didn't feel like standing there while she LOOKED for my Imaginary friend and knowing her...she would have! LOL...

She then tells me, "After all I have told you, I need you to answer a question for me and be honest"... I told her okay... and she asks, "Do you think you are an evil person?"... I gave her the funniest look, tried so hard not to laugh and felt like telling her, "Oh yeah...you're a complete stranger and I just let you use my cell phone...I'm going to hell!"... but I just simply told her, "No...I'm not evil.. not me!"... she starts getting fiesty and tells me, "you are a woman...you are most def. evil!"... and tells me she knows all about me. She goes on and on about being a Psychic and how she knows I'm trying to be a cop... which is a lucky guess I hope... LMAO... and , she starts talking about a bunch of different Police stations and how she can get uniformed and UN-uniformed cops - and starts calling me CYNTHIA and says she knows who I am...tells me I went to some elementary school for 8 years (I forgot the name she said)...AND then did 4 years at some high school... and just kept telling me what an evil person I am, and saying I was this Cynthia chick!  That's when I knew it was time to walk away ...LMAO... and I did... it was just wild....
 so, I thought I'd share that with you guys and make you laugh a bit..

As for my tickets, trying to get a car and get back on the road... trying to get back to school, do the whole Police thing (Which I still haven't heard from - Booooooooooo!)..and all...I'm okay... going through other shit but life has a way of knocking you on your ass when you finally think you're up...

Almost forgot... we also took the kids to the Pumpkin farm yesterday...they enjoyed it much! Had a nice time..went to Mcdonalds after, and came back to my parents house for the night. I haven't slept one bit since yesterday morning so...later when ex hubby has the kids...I'll be taking a nice long hot shower.. and a nice long nap!!! 

   and... that's pretty much my life summed up quickly at the moment...
until next time,

Peace and Love...
Shel.

Conversation between my brother and I after not speaking for almost 2 months because of fighting we've been going through... 

    Him:  Hey, I just want to say stop this.. I'm tired of this and I'm sorry.
  
     Me:   Sorry for what. 

This was after my uncle passed away and my brother and I always have a way of talking if we're fighting, or coming together and be there for each other when someone passes away in our family... it shouldn't be like this. We should be talking all the time, not just when a family member passes and we realize how stupid our fights are or how stubborn we've both been... I knew what he was sorry for. He started all 3 arguments and big fights we've been in over the last 2 months, and I knew he wanted to stop the fighting... but I guess I just wanted to hear him say it in his own words what he's sorry for and what he wants to stop... he didn't thou. My brother hides his emotions well, doesn't really talk about them, and I just took the "Sorry", and forgave him as that.... we're okay now... I know we handle our "getting over things" and being sorry by joking around... we always do it...so, the next conversation that followed was this... 

   Me:     Hey, you know how credit companies offer you a settlement offer so you don't have to pay the full amount you owe?
   Him:    Yeah?
   Me:  Well how much do you think I owe you or you owe me? settlement offer first of how much I owe you?
   Him:   LOL $270,000
   Me:   Whoa now...that's a lot of 0's...I'm allergic... lmao...
   Him:   LOL... $1500?
   Me:   I think it's more than that. U sure?
   Him:   Let's leave it as that.
   Me:   Okay, because I don't want to have to f*** you up , smoookkkeeeyyyyyyy!     

     (Big Worm from FRIDAY - the movie if you've never seen it). lmao...
  Him:   No,  Run me money!      

     (Ronnie from the Players club movie - if you've never seen that)... LOL... 

   Me:   Okay, now I'll tell you how much you owe me, --- but we can settle it out of court for 50 cents and a jaw breaker.

  (Ezell from Friday also )... but that text didn't go through so we stopped texting.. lmao.. but that's how I know things with him and I are back to normal.. when we start joking around and quoting movies as always.. I love my brother dearly and he can always make me laugh!!! I'm happy we're talking again because the fights we had over the last 2 months (both Physical and verbal while he's been drunk and ballsy as the saying goes).... were terrible and I hated it... Yesterday, he texts me asking what I was doing.. I told him watching t..v  he told me to come by our cousins house where he was. I told him no way to get there, and he told me, "Amber will pick you up!"... Amber is my little cousin I call her - by marriage I guess you could say... and I told him no.. maybe som other time. His response was WTF.. LOL... I knew he was disappointed because he and I haven't hung out in a while.  I'm just glad as I said... we're okay now. My brother and I have had many adventures together and if we never talked again, all the memories we've had would kill me to think about... 
 
   Like the time he and I went to the liquor store, and I was already a little "tipsy"... we were on the way to a backyard party and he told me to grab a case of Corona.. I grabbed it off the bottom shelf in the cooler, but grabbed it with one hand and when I took it out, the case ripped, fell to the floor and all the bottles inside it shattered making a loud noise. The cashier dude looked at me, I told him, "Um...I think I broke the bottles"... my brother was looking at the mess on the floor embarassed at shaking his head - but laughing at the same time, and goes "YOU THINK you broke the bottles??? No, you DID break the bottles"... lmao... I asked the dude if he wanted me to clean it up, and he told me don't worry about it... he didn't even make me pay for it after my brother told him I was tipsy... LOL.. 

Then , there was another time we went to the same liquor store and my brother was paying for the alcohol. I grabbed the bags and the guy told me, "Sorry hun, you can't grab them, he has to!"... I told the him, "DUDE, I'M OLDER THAN HE IS!"... he looked at me and asked, "YOU ARE?"..."  I said yeah, and my brother started laughing and told me, "That's sad when we go places and people think I'm older than you cuz you're so short and little!"... lmao... he even had the guy laughing. 

And then there was the time he had Spinners on his car tires.. We stopped at a red light and his hubcaps were spinning, and some dude at a bus stop yelled out, "Oooohhh shit..that's sweet. They spinnin', they spinnin;... move up bro!"... we had two other friends with us and the windows open, so we started laughing at this dude amazed by the spinners. My brother moved up a bit, stopped and the dude was jumping up and down yellling, "Again, again...they spinnin'... they spinnin...again again!".. lmao... my brother kept doing this until the light was Green... good times I tell ya!

There was another time we were sitting at a red light and all we felt was a big ass crash right into the car. Some drunk idiot flew across the intersection and slammed into us. Everything went black for a minute and it took a few to figure out what happened after my head slammed into the back window... I made sure everyone was okay, and then jumped out of the car and into the guys car when I saw him pulling back .... I tried taking the keys out of the ignition to make sure he didn't go any where... he said he was just going across the street to park in the lot... I made sure to write down the plates number as well. After the accident and we got taken to the hospital with just some bruises and cuts... luckily... everyone in the car joked about how fast I got out of the car and how they thought I was going to kick the guys ass. My brother joked and was saying, "I looked back, you were there..I looked back again, you were gone.... now you see her, now you don't... next thing I know, you're jumping in his car fighting for the keys!"... lmao...


I can't forget the time we were headed to the lake... him, his ex Juliana, this dude Tony we knew and I... Juliana and I were in the back, and he had hit a pot hole hard as hell, and looked in the mirror to see one of his hub cap spinners rollin'down the street behind us. He pulled over swearing and mad as hell to go chase it and when he did, we were listening to "It's so hard", by BIGGIE Small.. and the part where he says, "Spun A U-e LOST a hub cap" came on. Juliana and I started cracking up. It was the perfect part of the song for the perfect moment... my brother gave us both the finger and told us, "F*** you both!"... and chased after his hub cap.. when he got out of the car, even Tony started laughing... Lmao... 


One sad moment we've had together that I'll never forget..is when he and I got into a huge fight in 2008, and didn't speak for 3 months. When we found out our grandmother had Cancer and was dying with only a few months to live, she ended up in the hospital, and we tried not to end up seeing each other there. He'd go, leave, and then I'd go leave and he'd come back.. or whatever. But one day, he came so I went to the chapel to pray, he ended up coming in there, saw me crying ...and sat next to me. We talked about how short life is, we said our sorries to each other, and we both hugged and cried/prayed together... so, like usual, we fight, don't talk...and then something tragic happens, and we're fine again like now.  (we just lost our uncle and again, realized life is too short not to talk)... 

Another funny memory I have of him, is when one of his boys ended up getting drunk as hell , passing out... and everyone that was hanging out with us that day.. his friends and a few of mine... were writing all over this poor dude with marker... they tried handing it to me, and I told them, "Na, that's bogus as hell what you guys are doing..I don't want to do it"... they tried telling me, "Yes, you do!"... I kept saying no, and finally I told them, "I don't wan to..stop!".. so one of the guys there took a marker, wrote, "Cookie was here"... on the guys hand... but the marker wasn't working right, so I joked and told him, "If you're going to make it look like I did it, make it noticable!"... I took a darker marker and traced over it.. lmao... I felt bad tho when the guy woke up, and told me, "I expected everyone else to be bogus and do this kind of shit, but not you,Cookie!".... :(    LOL.... had my brother cracking up. 

We then a wonderful moment where I get a call at 3 AM and he's drunk off his butt telling me I need to come down the block and identify him so the Police let him go. I asked what he was talking about, and he told me just to get down there..please. So, I go down the block and the Police have him in the back of the car, another cop has his friend in their car and let him out.. when they let my brother out.. they asked if I knew him. I told the Police, "Yeah, that's my little brother!"... I asked what he did and they told me him and his genuius friends were trying to steal a bike and cut the lock off it by Mcdonalds. I shook my head and this drunk fool gets un-cuffed and tells the cops tipsy as hell.."Officers , I want to be a Police officer one day".... the cops looked at him like he was nuts and told him, "GO HOME WITH YOUR SISTER!".... they asked if I wanted to take his boy with me. I told them NO WAY... I found out that the kid who was suppose to be the "Look out", ran a block when he saw the cops and THEN screamed "5-0"... smh...

Another thing that made me laugh but pissed me off at the same time ... is when my brother caught his DUI case a few years back. He had a really nice Poniac G6 so whenever he was going to the club to DJ, I'd take the G6, drop him off and pick him up because I knew he would be getting drunk.  My brother would always call me for the stupidest shit at 2, 3, 4 in the morning when he was drunk....even the days I didn't take him to the club and he went with someone else... he called me at 2 AM one day to tell me there was a Giraffe outside of Safari Land on North Ave. (we call him Giraffe because he has a long neck and he's so tall...)... so when I found out he got a DUI one time, I flipped!!! I told him, "you can call me at 2,3,4 AM for the stupidest shit, but not to come pick your dumb ass up from the club!"... he told me he thought I was sleeping. I yelled and told him, "I was sleeping many other times I woke up to come get you!"... I was so mad... but we look back now that it's over, and laugh... i always tell people, "This idiot called me many times and then to tell me there's a Giraffe outside of Safari land, but not when he really needed a ride home!".... smh.... at least he was honest with the cop who stopped him.. which is another thing that made me giggle a bit... when I heard the story of how he got caught... he wasn't even driving. He was pulled over to the side of the road and a cop pulled up to make sure he was okay, and he told the cop, "Officer, I shouldn't even be behind the wheel!"... lol... Americas stupidest Criminals! 

Another memory that makes me laugh is when I had said something about him looking guilty... he joked around and told me, "I look su-su-supicish - su - it's making me think a lot, okay?! "...   lmao... (NEXT FRIDAY if you haven't seen the movie... Joker says it tword the end)... as I said,  we're always quoting movies with each other. He had me cracking up. 

Or the time we were planning my oldest daughters birthday party, and I had asked him if he would pick up some of her friends she invited, and told him some of them would be boys. He's very protective of my kids, but especially my oldest because she's a teenager now, that's his niece and his God-daughter..... so, he gave me the funniest look, and asked..."You want ME to pick up BOYS for my teenager niece and think they're going to make HERE okay?"... lmao... 



    So, he and I have had many many many funny memories together... some sad but we've always pulled through again... he's the one who can always make me laugh when I don't want to... :) and... knowing we're okay again, gives me a sense of peace.


Any way....





   Not sure when the next time I'll be able to write again is so I'm going to do a few updates for now on a few things going on .....

   First and foremost....I have 2 job interviews today that I'm really pretty excited about. I thought they were close and found out they're about 9 blocks from where I live now, but hey - if I have to walk there and back daily to save and pay my city tickets, and get a car - so be it. It shouldn't take long for those... I'm actually hoping I get BOTH jobs and can work around BOTH schedules because the more work, the more money.... everyone is telling me walking there and back daily.. my feet will thank me later.
I wear heel boots to work, so my feet won't thank me at all but my wallet sure the hell will... and hell, when I get a car and no longer have to walk any where... THEN my feet will thank me. LOL... until then, not yet.
I applied at many places and got called for four so far...  H.H. Gregg and Anna's Linens are the ones I'll be going to today for the interviews.  As I said - right now, I don't care where I work as long as it gets me money... and I plan on going back to school as soon as this money, gets me a car...so I can finally graduate, finish, and move on with my Criminal Justice career.
Any way, I've also been called by SUBWAY... yes, the fast foot sandwhich joint.. lmao...I applied to them for fun one day just for the hell of it, but would never want to work there... I turned them down when they called yesterday. I guess I thought about it for a moment, but I would never want the responsibility of cooking or making someone else's food if it's not family, my kids, or Mr. A.
And then this morning...Foot Locker e-mailed me. I've been dying to get the FOOT LOCKER job. I think I'd be a doll in the Black and white referee uniform! LMAO... it said how they're interested in my qualities, skills, and resume..and not to contact the manager or apply again because as soon as the hiring process begins, they will be updating me and informing me of everything I need to do every step of the way... and they said on the e-mail they were looking forward to speaking to me soon! :) Yay.... I've been trying for a while to get in there and I hear the pay is pretty good as well. So, we'll see.... hell, I'm just hoping to get one of these jobs today!  LOL... I needed something closer to where I live now, and although this is 9 blocks..there's a bus if need be, that stops a few feet from here, and goes straight there.

As for everything else... My Tiffie - oldest daughter - is doing well in school, and staying out of trouble. She minds her own business and is still doing well... she has her moments, but for the most part... I think I scared the crap out of her when she decided she was going to "run away" from her grandmas house last week.. .and I picked her up and took her to Juvenile Hall... yes, the Detention Center. I got out of the car, and she refused to get out with me, so I told her she can either volunteer to walk up to the doors, or the female officers could come out and get her... either way, she was going in.  Before that, she had been talking back to her aunt and grandma, her dad - getting mouthy, giving problems when they were with her, and just not respectful to them at all.  Oh to me.... she never made a sound. When I have her, when I get tough on her... she doesn't make a peep.. she knows better than to "mouth off" to me... I'm majoring in Juvenile Justice . These little punks now a days don't scare me..I've been one of these little punks before... Lmao... so when Tiffanie gets rowdy, I've told her I was going to take her to Juvy in the past..and she didn't believe me anymore, and a few weeks ago, I took her. She got scared needless to say ... and when I saw the tears in her eyes and I knew I had broken her down, I took her back home and really let her have a piece of my mind. I told her the next time I take her there, it's for real and she will be going inside... there's no more disrespecting her dad, her aunt, or her grandma.. there's no more putting her hands on her brother or sister when they're fighting, there's no more arguing with anyone, no more mouthy attitude, none of that.  And - from that day on...she's been awesome. She does her home work.  She's respectful.  She's polite... she hasn't pushed her brother or sister, she hasn't fought with them.... she's been a peach! LMAO... so I guess that worked??!!! LOL... and November 23rd, we'll be going to the Chicago Bulls College Prep high school for the application and information process to try to get her enrolled. I'm really looking forward to this. :) 1st quarter of 8th grade progress reports already and she's on a C - average..A's, B's and C's..which is fine with me because I don't expect all A's, but I sure the hell don't allow Ds and Fs... and she hasn't had any for the longest. !

My Frankie... this little white boy thug - LMAO... seriously... drives me nuts but I love the booger.  He's such a boy... He did NOT get a good progress report and I am NOT proud of him. When I yelled at him about it..about not turning in his homework like he should, forgetting homework supplies or books he needed in school, and not being allowed to make up any work and blaming his teacher for it, I REALLY yelled at him. I screamed at the top of my lungs about how un-acceptable this is , and he knows I don't mess around when it comes to grades and school work... I had a big fit.  I told him I am NOT proud of him... and he told me, "Neither am I"... he sounded disappointed in himself, and serious... so I softened up a little and told him, "Frankie, I need you to settle down in the school sense, start fresh after this, start paying attention, start listening to every little thing, every lesson she's teaching the class, write down notes, information, homework in your planner, and if you know you have homework, ask yourself if you have every supply, every book to do that homework and put it in your book bag right away!".... he said OKAY.. and I made sure he heard me and repeated it back to me. I told him I wasn't joking and the next time his progress report looks like an ugly bad snow storm during the winter season.... I was taking HIM to Juvenile next. He already knows I took his sister and scared the LORD into her! lmao.... seriously thou, Frankie is scared of Officer Donna... a good friend of mine who kicked my ass when she arrested me back in the days as a bad ass teenager myself... and set me straight. She didn't play no games or take no bullshit from my ass.. every time my mother needed her and called her, Officer Donna set me right! ... so, now that she and I still talk...I call her to set Frankie right when he needs it, and she does. She hasn't met him yet, but eventually...she will. So, now that he seems to think that he'll never see Officer Donna... I've told him about Officer Delgado (echem... totally um...?? how can I say this?? Not visable?) if you know what i mean..lmao... and said that this cop is a Juvenile Officer and that if the next progress report is not good either... or has any D's and F's on it... he'll be spending the next quarter in Juvenile ... he told me that's not fair.. and asked if I would send him there just because he's not doing well in school. I told him, "Frankie, kids get sent their for LESS!"... he told me, "OH MY GOD..FINE!"... and said he would do better.. so, here's hoping!  I also asked him what it would take for him to do better and what he wanted.. he crushed my heart when he said, "More time with you!"....
A lot of the time... Frankie likes to go fishinig or playing baseball... and he'll ask his dad to do that with him.. I know how to fish and enjoy it but I'm not touching any creepy  crawlers to do so... or any fish that may be caught...LOL.. and when Frankie asks his dad to do these things with him, I've always thought I was the one who tucks him in at night, helps with homework, takes him to the park, surprises him with Mcdonalds here and there, or...gives him extra money when I have it and he was happy with that...turns out I was wrong and it killed me to hear him say that because even thou I do spend time with Frankie .... I didn't know he wanted more of it. I thought what I was doing was the normal "mommy" stuff... I asked him one time if he wanted to do stuff with me and he told me what he likes to do is BOY STUFF... so I never really thought too much about it. But... there are many things we can do together... when I start saving money... we can go on weekend get-aways together, I can take him to skateboard parks, and biking events, I can take him downtown to do things together..there's tons of things I'm sure I can find.. so I made an agreement with him that we can do many things together as a reward and I can take him places... if he brings his grades up and starts doing well in school.
Now.. let me make things clear. I'll spend time with him either way... but in order to do the FUN things... going out of town, events I'll have to buy tickets to... and things like that... yes, his grades need to come up!  So, today..I e-mailed his teacher and asked her to keep me updated on any change and told her the agreement he and I have..

As for KaiLani... she's still doing great in Kindergarten.. learning numbers, colors, how to read and write, and all. :) Today, she'll get to pick her very first prize from the class room treasure chest for writing her name on her own twice last night. I'm anxious to see what her toy selection/prize pick is... I'll be at my interviews in a little bit, so ... if I don't get to write later...

Have a wonderful weekend/week next week... and I'll be back as soon as I can to let you know how everything went...

Peace and Love.
Shel.

   :(

   I lost my Uncle Manuel yesterday to Cancer. He was only really my uncle by Marriage from being married to my dads sister - but still - I considered him family although they've been divorced for years now. He went through his up's and down's in life and struggled a lot, but eventually cleaned up his life, got his act together  -and then was taken by Cancer. He passed away the other day at Midnight (R.I.P.)... and it bothered me because I just saw him about a month or two ago and he looked nice... we joked around and something was said by my cousins wife that he wanted no part of... and we all started laughing when he threw his hands up like he had nothing to say about what was being said. LOL... so, my last memory of him was a good one thankfully... but, I still never got to say Good-bye officially before he passed. I tried getting up there to see him the other day because my cousin told me he wasn't doing good, and wasn't expected to make it through the night, but I had no baby-sitter so... I wasn't able to go.  When I heard he passed, even if I didn't see the man a lot, talk to the man a lot... it's still family to me as I said.  It's still a shitty situation and I wish I had that chance to see him one last time. To say Good-bye like a few of my other cousins and family members did. It's so weird too because I heard that I believe it was either my aunt Tami or my cousins wife Tami was on the way to the hospital to see him, and was only 5 minutes away when he passed ....


It brought me back to when I lost my grandma to Cancer in 2008.  I had spend every single night in the beautiful Hospice nursing home she spent her last days in... and while she was in A coma.. I talked to her, I tried to wake her up, I tried to get her to eat , I tried to do anything to get her to talk to me again... nothing!  The last day she was alive... I woke up at the nursing home .. (this is when I had a car)... and I kissed her, told her I'd be back after I went home, ate and showered, and she woke up... she literally woke up, smiled , and closed her eyes again. I thought maybe there was hope for her, but about 2 PM,my mother called me from work and asked if I was still at the nursing home. I said NO but that I would call and check up on her before going back.  As soon as I called, the nurse almost cried when she answered the phone and told me, "Oh sweetie... you and your grandmother must have been very close because just as the phone was ringing, she took her last breath!"... I cried so hard. I was very close to her, and one thing I did NOT want... is for her to be alone without any family there when she passed away, and she was.  The nurse told me she wasn't alone thou... when her breathing started changing a few hours after I left, the nurses called the Priest who said prayers over here, told her it was okay to go home to God  -and that was it.  I had already showered and was going back right after I got ready, but instead.... my brother , ex hubby and I had the task of going to the bank where my mom worked..and telling her her mom had passed away.  It was horrible. And, I never officially got to say Good-bye to her either before she went...

Or my Nana, or my grand-fathers.... I remember for one of my grandpas.. (my dads dad  we called Pap Pap)... I begged my mother to let me stay home from school the day they were going to see him. He died of Cancer as well... she told me he wasn't going to die that day, and I had to go to school. When she picked me up, she felt awful telling me he had passed away and told me how sorry she was.  I didn't get to say Good-bye to him...

Or a few friends I lost so suddenly...

I've lost a lot of people in my life I never got to say Good-bye to and just thought, "I'll see them tomorrow. I'll talk to them tomorrow....".....  sometimes, there IS NO TOMORROW!  and sadly... while you're thinking there is... you just never know. I started thinking about friends of mine who are aruging right no and no longer speaking to each other... and fights Mr. A and I get into... and fights ex-hubby and I have, fights my brother and I have had plenty of times and went without talking for ssssoooo long because we're both stubborn assholes when it comes to our fights... and, just how life is so short and you never know when your time is up... or when your loved ones time is up.
Like the quote says... you never know when your loved ones heart will stop beating and you won't have the chance to say Good-bye ... or I'm sorry... or, ask for forgiveness for wronging someone... if you're arguing with someone and not speaking and think, "whatever... eventually we'll talk".... life doesn't work that way... sometimes, there won't be any "eventually", because that person may just drop and die... find out they have Cancer and be taken faster than you can blink... get into a car accident and be killed instantly... hit by a car.... anything could happen. I know this all sounds crazy right now but it all makes perfect sense if you really think about it.

One of my good friends from back in the days - her, her sister, and their mother had gone swimming at a relatives house and the mother died right there in the pool. She went underwater and the her kids thought she was joking... come to find out she was dead. Irregular heart beat.... her heart just stopped .

In my kids school - there's a little girl in Kindergarten whose completely bald. She has Lukemia... 5 years old! 5 with Lukemia... I could never imagine how it is to be that little girls parents... and - she walks around with such a big smile on her face like nothing is wrong. She has so many friends, and she's enjoying her time right now... and who knows how long she has? If she'll beat it or not...

Life is too short to not be talking to someone you've argued with...
Life is too short for hate and anger...
Life is too short to think "I'll talk to him or her tomorrow"...
Life is too short to be stubborn, say hateful things, and not apologize for your actions today.

Don't wait until you're standing over someones grave crying and telling them how much you miss them to tell them you love them, or you're sorry for whatever you did, or - just to tell them how much you need them. DO IT NOW....!  Don't wait until you can no longer say Good-bye to cherish the memories, the way someone laughs, their smile, the things they do for you, the little things that mean the most, or good times you've shared together... because a few things I've learned from losing so many people I never got to say Good-bye to, I love you to, or I'm sorry to..... is this :

and believe me, if you're too stubborn to say you're sorry to someone you've hurt, wronged in some way, if you're too scared or stubborn to tell them you love them, or show you need them, if you're thinking there's always tomorrow... when they're no longer next to you, you can no longer hold and kiss them, you can no longer call and hear their voice, laugh, see their smile, etc... those flashblacks of all the good times will come..and they will break you down.. and trust me when I say, you will regret what you did or didn't do TODAY!  ....

   AND
my words of advice ..........


 

So - with that being said... with all the people I've lost and never got to say Good-bye to because I thought they had tomorrow... with everything crazy in the world going on right now...with all that COULD happen to you , me, whoever....

  I want to take the time to say to whoever is reading this....
If I've ever hurt you, made you angry, upset you in some ways..whatever it may be...I am sorry!  If we don't see each other often or talk often but we are in contact... I love you all, and wish you all the best... As my brother tells me, "Don't tell me Good-bye because good-bye is forever..so I'll see you later"... lol.. and on a serious note... really cherish your loved ones NOW while you still have them because tonight - God may call them home... tomorrow...he may call them home... the day after...you just NEVER know.  Don't wait until it's too late and you're saying to yourself, "I should have done or said this..."    OR...even worse, "I shouldn't have said or done that....."..... ! 

No matter what the situation is... never take loved ones for granted, and don't go crying at their wakes and funerals when you do and didn't take my advice!  

   Hell, my brother and I didn't talk for 3 months one time over a fight we had and we ended up crying and praying together when our grandmother was in the hospital dying of Cancer... we told each other how sorry we are, and how stupid it was to be fighting... it should never be like that... waiting until someone is dying or dead to bring people together... or, to feel bad for not talking to, apologizing to, or even ignoring the person who did die and now you wish they were here so you could make ammends... do it now!

     As my grandma use to tell me,   "NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY AT SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF THEY'LL / YOU'LL DIE IN THEIR SLEEP AND YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"....

or... as the other saying goes, "  ALWAYS LEAVE THE ONES YOU LOVE WITH KIND AND CARING WORDS BECAUSE YOU NEVER IF WHEN THEY WALK OUT OF YOUR SITE...IF THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU'LL EVER SEE THEM ALIVE!".....

   too too true... please ... cherish who you love and have today!


  With that being said,
R.I.P. uncle Manuel...

Peace and Love to everyone else,
Shel.

is exactly how I feel right now!

   I'm not
allowed to talk about the ex - husband in any of my writings any more so this
will be the last one.

  Over the last few
days, he's been telling me he knows what I write on EVERY thing I have online,
he knows where I go - he's mentioned a certain place I went to eat the other
day... and long story short... he knew everything from every word I've said,
every conversation I've had , and all the above... hell, he knew things I was
writing on HERE - so, I told him that's called "STALKING", and "CYBER STALKING",
and after 3 days of breaking me down and really creeping me out ... to which he
kept telling me HE'S not the one doing it and that he asked someone to do it for
him.. but wouldn't tell me who - I finally got to my breaking point, and didn't
even want to be on anything anymore online because he's always checking and he
always knows even if my online things are private... the only way I could think
that he could figure out this site or anything else online, is through our kids
, but he said they haven't told him anything, so I started thinking that maybe
my own friends are going and telling him things, and he swore that it wasn't my
friends either. He swore on his mother's life and promised me it was nobody that
had any connection to me.. it was nobody he works with, and he said it was
someone he met that was a hacker.   Now, him and I being divorced... he has no
right going through anything of mine online or reading what I write, or say, or
do .... nothing that my friends say or do - anything.... so - as I said, after 3
days of this feeling stalked.... and not knowing who he had doing it...
following me, hacking my online personal stuff, etc. ... I called 311... I was
in tears and told the woman that I feel stalked, and that he won't tell me who
he has doing this . I asked what I could do to get it to stop, and she asked if
he's my husband, boyfriend, what?  I said we're legally divorced, and even she
sounded creeped out and told me, "Oh no honey...what he's doing is illegal and
it could escalate... I'm not saying it's going to because you know him better
than I do, but you need to protect yourself, keep yourself safe....let me talk
to my supervisor and call you right back"..  she asked for my name and number
and I gave that to her.   She called me back about 20 minutes later and said
there were two ways I could make a report. I could go into the Police station
closest to me... or call 311 back, ask for a non-emergency Police report and do
it over the phone.    I did that....
   I called 311 back and
they transfered me to a non-emergency Police officer...who was also female.  She
heard me crying and I told her I'm not scared of him, I just feel like I'm being
stalked... and he has no right to know where I am unless it's for our kids, what
I'm doing,  and what I'm writing online because I haven't written anything about
him for the longest... unless it's little stuff here and there but nothing
terrible.... he also told me that he used the Police at his job to look up
information, and I told this officer that, and said it's getting out of control
and now he's not only stalking me, he's CYBER STALKING....looking up whatever I
have online, checking what I'm writing and doing, and I'm tired of it...

she was creeped out as well, and told me my first step is to
put a restraining order into effect and told me where to go. She then said no
Police officer can look up information just because someone asks them to, or to
run a name  -because it's illegal and I could sue whichever Police officer did
it and they could be fired. She told me if I do put the restraining order into
effect, they could make sure to add ONLINE STALKING/CYBER STALKING to things he
can NOT do... and if he mentions any recent activity I do - he'll be locked up.


I didn't make a report that night... I decided to ask him
again to tell me who is stalking me. Who he has hacking my accounts, and he even
told me himself he got a hacker to do it... I then remembered that if you visit
a site... your IP address is recorded, so I told him if I do make the report and
the Police get involved and go to court, the court will find the IP address of
anyone who was on my sites... he told me to "Go ahead", and said the courts
wouldn't find out anything because this person knows what he's doing, and that's
why he's called a hacker!  So, I got extremely aggravated, felt violated, and
told him thanks to him - I'm closing down every single thing I have online... he
told me I didn't have to do that. I told him, "I do...because thanks to you...I
don't know who to trust and not to trust anymore... I don't know whose looking
at my stuff, giving you information, or anything....thank you for ruining the
things I enjoy!"..... and he still wouldn't tell me who he had stalking or
looking at my stuff or how they got the information or whatever.... I decided to
do what I had to do to protect myself. 
I called the Domestic
unit and asked for a restraining order to be put in effect.  I was told I had to
go downtown and talk to the States Attorney. I didn't want to, but if it meant
stopping whoever he had stalking me and stopping this person from CYBER stalking
all my pages.... so be it!  I was going to do what I had to do as a divorced
woman who wants peace.....

I found out that what was going
on - is a Class 4 Felony !!!     A FELONY......and my ex husband has a clean
record , so if I went to the States Attorney , got the restraining order, and
put the CYBER STALKING charges against him, who knows what would have
happened... but , I gave him the chance to come clean and told him I did not
want to mess up his clean record. I'm not a bitch.....  I know he likes to call
me it thousands of times and think it... but i'm really not... I'd like to keep
the peace between him and I... him and his family... him and my family - as much
as possible.... but he has broken me down in the last few days, and I've been
stressed out, emotionally stressed, depressed, tired.... and not wanting to deal
with someone tailing me..online or in person.... so, I had to try to break him
down and get him to tell me... He did....
He eventually told me
that on his mother's life ... (and for her sake, I hope he's telling the
truth).... that he doesn't have anyone stalking me, following me, and there's no
hacker breaking into my shhhh! 
He said that HE has looked at my stuff that
he could find online himself from searching my name.... I don't know if I
believe him or not, but he said he just wanted to piss me off, aggravate me, and
make me worry... Yes !  That's exactly how he is because he's done this type of
thing before.... the sad thing is - the Dr. has told me I can NOT be stressed
out, worried, aggravated, etc... because it's not good for my health...and with
him knowing my health conditions, and him still doing this.... it's sad. He's
done this before where he'll say he knows where my fiance lives, he knows where
I was, he has pictures and videos in his phone, and BS like that... and my
mother has asked why he does that to me, and he'll admit, "To piss her off".


What I want, is a good friendship with him
where we can both be there for the kids... be civil, and be able to talk without
yelling - fighting - and such. He hasn't learned that yet. So, I try to be as
civil and calm as possible not only for my health - but for the kids..... they
don't need to see anymore fighting. After he admitted there is nobody stalking
me and no hacker... (let's hope).... he admitted to being angry with me, hurt,
pissed off, and tired of this situation.  He's angry I found someone else... and
I reminded him of the two women he was talking to as well.... and not to try to
make me feel guilty when one woman turned out to be a "cat fish".... (an online
person who pretends to be someone they're not)... and the other worked things
out with her man .... but, that's his business and I'm not going to sit here and
tell it all...that's not my place...

    Any
way.... he asked me last night to please respect him and not put his name on any
writings I do ... and any social networks I join, or have..or what not... but I
don't use much so I can guarantee this is the last time (unless it's something
with the kids and him) that his name will be used.  I'll respect his wishes if
he can respect mine and have a civil friendship for these kids. He said last
night he wants to start fresh... no drama between us, no bullshit... no pety
arguing, none of that... so we'll see how that goes or how long it lasts. I'm
more than willing to be civil to him, his family... whatever... he's the one
whose been acting like he's 5... so we'll see.
I have no
problem with him other than his childish drama... and if that can stop - we can
be civil. Lord knows I hate going downtown for court...so I'm not trying to
spend anymore time down there than need be. I don't want to take him to
court...I don't want to put the restraining order into effect... I don't want to
deal with the States Attorney and my ex-husband doesn't need a felony on his
record ...so just this once...I'm letting the cyber stalking slide,... and as
for knowing where I was there other day eating  - he saw a receipt that was in
my purse... I guess our youngest daughter has been in my purse or
something...who knows?! 
I just hope this all stops
now!

     Respecting his wishes ... let's get 
off the subject of him....

       The kids had
OPEN HOUSE at school yesterday.  Or as they call it now, "Meet the teachers
night"... where parents get to go and see the class rooms, and what the kids do
and made...etc.... we went to Lani's classroom first. Her teacher did a
presentation of all the things that goes on in the class room, what the kids do
all day, and what they're learning, etc.  She's teaching these kindergarten kids
MATH... addition and subtraction. Kindergarten for me was all play and learning
here and there... it has def. changed... I didn't learn math until 1st and 2nd
grade so for Lani to be learning it now ... I find it to be different... good
different but still different. They're learning letters, how to put sentences
together, word reconizing, science, social studies, etc. everything!!!  So, it's
a great thing and I'm happy she has the teacher she has because it seems like
she's really involved with her students and really cares about their academic
success. Lani has done much better not crying in class..and is finally use to
it. The teacher has an excellent reward system, and gives her students star
stickers daily and when they fill them up...they get to pick a prize from the
class treasure chest... Lani is doing everything asked of her, and she'll come
home and tell me everything she's learned. Homework is simple because it's only
15 minutes a day and she has a homework folder where she gets to pick what she
does for her homework... it's an excellent system!   My kids go to a Magnet
Cluster school that I was kind of iffy about at first, but it's an amazing
school that really challenges the kids. Lani made me giggle a bit when the
ex-hubby and I almost started arguing outside her classroom, and she told us ,
"Hey , no fighting in front of my class!"  .... we told her we were sorry, and
it's funny and sad at the same time that our 5 year old had to put us in check! 

Outside her class room, all the kids hung a picture of themselves and a
paper saying what they can do by themselves. Our Lani had her picture up and it
said, "I can brush my teeth"...  :)   I tried taking a picture of it, but my
phone is awful - I need a new one, and instead... it took a video.. smh.


We went to Frankie's class next and I laughed
when he asked if it was over, or if she was still seeking people. The teacher
told him to "come on in", and I told him, "Nice try".... to which the teacher
laughed and said, "I agree".... he's a slick little one! lmao.... Amazingly,
Frankie's desk was spotless and organized.Last year... we had a problem where he
had pencil shavings in his desk, garbage, rolled up paper balls, and all... and
he was a big class clown. This year, his teacher says he's well behaved...
calmed down his talking back... and turns in class work right away. He just has
a problem turning in his homework assignments.. to which he made the excuse that
sometimes he's at his grandmas. I told him, "If you're with me, you know you can
ask for help... if you're with your dad, you know he'll help you..and if you're
at grandmas, you know she or tita will help you...so don't even play me like
that!"..... the other day... he brought home an "F" on his reading logs, and he
had been with his dad that week... so when I had him for a few days the other
day... I checked his new reading logs and compared the 2... and told him, "well
look at this... first of all , I bet you got an F because you're not filling in
all the information they're asking ..... " and I sat with him , made him fill
out ALL the information from the Book title... to the Author... to writing his
date, time, 5 sentences needed, and having me sign it.... and ... yesterday, I
asked the teacher about the "F" reading logs, and the ones I worked with him
on...and she said that YES... the new ones are much better, and that's what she
wanted. I also told Frankie in front of her, that from now on - any homework he
has... needs to be written in his planner and I'll sign it... or his dad will
sign it since we both share the kids now and have joint custody.  She has told
me how smart Frankie is and that he has a lot of potential which I told Frankie.
  Frankie told me he doesn't feel smart, and I asked why not and told him never
say that again because I don't make stupid kids!  I told him how smart and
handsome he is...

   Tiffanie didn't have OPEN
HOUSE/Meet the teachers night because when we went for her graduation meeting a
few weeks ago, that was her meet the teachers night. I felt bad because i made
her come with, stay there with us, she was terribly bored...argued with her, 
and I thought she was lying because she didn't want me to talk to her teacher...
so after Frankie's meeting, we left...and Tiffanie was the first one out the
door... I saw her cousin outside, and asked him about it and he said the same
thing... NO - they did not have meet the teachers night for 8th graders because
they had theirs at their graduation meeting... I joked and told him, "Yeah, you
just don't want your mom talking to your teacher either!"... lmao.... but they
were telling the truth. (Holy crap...kids can do that?) lmao... I know...
amazing!

   Other than that.... I got a few
jobs offers I'm excited about... the one that I thought I had that they offered
me before I could even ask... (I think I mentioned it somewhere below)... they
haven't called or said anything so I'm just waiting... I'll be going in there
today to see what's going on... but I got an offer from an Insurance company...
and then an offer from H.H. Gregg.... electronic store!  Hey...I'll do anything
right about now to pay off my city tickets and get a new car...


     So - with that being said... have a
beautiful day...peace and Love...I'm going to get my morning coffee!  LOL...

Shel.

My favorite season is finally here! wwwwoo hooo...
Today is the first day of Fall / Autumn.  :)

As a mom, I always look for and come up with the best things to do with the kids
around this time of the year and going into the holidays so I wanted to share
something with you other moms that I've been doing with my kids for the last few
years and thought you might enjoy as well.... Autumn is the best time to visit a
place called Goebbert's farm. Every time I take my kids  , they have a blast...
we got to the one in South Barrington but they have two locations ... and the
farm is now on their 65th Anniversary so they've been around a long time and
know how to really make a family feel welcomed. :)  Goebbert's has a corn stalk
maze, petting zoo, Haunted House, Haunted Hay rides , Giant pumpkin eating
dinosaur ,  Pumking patches and so much more... not to mention the Red barn cafe
and bakery...mmmmm!!!  My favorite is the fresh fudge they make... and I'm sure
there's hot chocolate and pumpkin lattes as well although I've never looked for
them.  I def. recommen this farm to families all over.... and if you're not
close to the Barrington area, they also have one in Hampshire as well.... lots
of attractions, lots of fun... and I almost forgot to mention their huge rocking
chair... my kids have always loved that!  - and the fact that they get to feed a
Giraffe.... The fall festival starts today and is only 6 weeks long, so
hurry!!!!  

Thought I'd share that.... not to
mention all the apple picking, pumpkin patches, and October festivals coming up
soon....

And as a mom, I also thought I'd
share CHICAGOPARENT.COM.....if you're a Chicagoian that is... this magazine is
full of fun activities for kids of all ages -and loaded with up-coming events
and festivals for fall.... I wish I could share more of what I do with my own
but Goebbert's has always been our number one choice for fall fun.... we also
enjoy going to Starbucks and getting their pumpkin spice lattes and other
goodies they have for the fall season. I've always taken my kids there for
goodies and then on a long ride to look at the beautiful leaves changing colors
but since I don't have a car currently, maybe we'll just take a walk and do
that... booooo!  LOL.....

I do know this.... I def.
LOVE this weather... I call it HOODIE WEATHER.... pumpkin weather.... HALLOWEEN
weather, and we all know how much I love Halloween!  :)


So, thank you to my good friend Melissa for
the heads-up that it's the first day of Autumn, and I plan to enjoy every minute
of it. Now, to figure out what I'm going to be for Halloween!!! LOL... I wanted
to be Mortisha or Elvira. Angel thinks both costumes are too sexy to be dressed
in and says NO.. lmao... such a man! Good lord..... but , we'll see... I also
might do a simpl Witch...I def. know that I need to figure out this whole trick
or treating thing with the ex hubby because I'm sure we'll both want to spend
that day with our kids... it's so hard being divorced and having to share!  None
the less, I know the court ordered us to share the kids, and thus - it shall be
done.  Their dad has as much rights to them as I do. Any way...... this is about
my favorite season, not him..... so....

   I
will eventually look up more things going on and share them here when I have
more time.... and may you all have a wonderful fall
season....


  Happy Autumn all
! <3


Shel.


  

Last night, I was thinking what an awful blogger I am. 


             I don't mean that in the sense of
my writings, because I'm sarcastically funny / entertaining / sometimes serious,
and know how to write. I LOVE LOVE LOVE writing and it's my passion... so , I
know how to put words together as a blog... I LOVE to blog... but when I say I'm
an awful blogger...I pretty much mean that sometimes, I don't have much to write
about because my life isn't that entertaining at the moment.

I'm looking for a new job, I'm looking for a new apartment, I'm
going through a lot of stuff, but none I care to talk about right now... and ,
my life is pretty boring at the moment... besides my kids making me laugh, doing
silly things, and me having to be tough with them sometimes, there's not much
else that goes on in my life that I feel is worth the "talk".... but, last night
- as I was lying in bed in pain from my back and my head... (lower back from a
fall - and head from a recent head injury/Concussion I suffered last week)... I
was thinking about how much pain I was in, how emotionally drained I am from
everything going on, and a thousand different ways my life could go right now,
and I did NOT feel like smiling. Actually , I felt like crying... I felt like
crying for so many different reasons ... and I decided instead - to read one of
my favorite MOMMY BLOGGERS... I like to read different blogs of women who write
from church goer's, to other mothers, to wives, divorced women, engaged women,
stay at home women, women with their own business's, I just like to read what
other women have to say... (I say women because it's very rare to find a DADDY
BLOG or guys who keep blogs)... I have a whole list of other women's blogs I
enjoy reading.... and last night, when I was depressed, feeling down and out,
and wanting to cry.... I wanted to write at the same time.. but , felt like I
had nothing interesting to say at the moment.


Well, when I read this MOMMY BLOG of this
woman I enjoy reading - her writing from a while ago had me laughing to the
point of tears...her pictures were hilirious and went along with her story...
and she just wrote what happened to her in such a fantastic way, that made me
smile when I didn't want to... and inspired me because I realized that even when
I don't have anything to write about.... I can write about anything!!!! Funny,
sad, silly stories, things that have happened in my life, experiences, and
more..... and have it be fantastic as well...

So, I don't exactly know if it's a good idea I realized I could write about
anything - and have it be interesting to some people. LMAO...


   Seriously tho.... while reading this
woman's blog... she was saying how her loved one had his tonsils taken out and
how she was excited when she found out his room window looked like it had an
awesome view outside, until she looked outside of it - and saw there was a
cemetary right there by the hospital. Right next door... with tombstones and
everything. She freaked out / was creeped out - and took a picture of it. ....
now, because of COPYRIGHT - even morals and values..I will NOT post the pictures
here because they are HERS - but if you'd like to see them, I'd be more than
happy to share her site and gain her more visitors... she's an awesome
writer.....
Any way.... she posted the pictures of the
cemetary, AND THEN  -  had me cracking up so hard when she had mentioned on her
blog .. looking down even further and seeing tombstones on the hospital
property...YES - right there on the property... if that doesn't make someone a
little jittery going in for surgery at that hospital - I don't know what will..
lmao...
She then writes about how she was going to ask for ice
- but noticed a sign that said "Here at this hospital, we strive for family to
take active parts in the care of their loved ones"... something to that
affect...and , it had a picture of a woman doing something for her loved one
instead of the staff... so she took that as a sign to get the ice herself!
lmao... I swear, my pain, my bad mood last night  -was gone after that.... and I
even realized that the silliest stuff, the littlest stuff, pictures,
experiences, stories, whatever that I may write.... can have such a wonderful
affect on someone else whose having a bad day.... if I think it's nothing or
it's just something small that I write... it may make someone else laugh. It may
make someone else's day.... so, when I think I have nothing to write about and
go DAYS or MONTHS without writing, I see now that a good writer ALWAYS has
something to say...or write about in my case... and a good blogger as well.   So
- I want to share a few things with you... even if I think they're totally
random and small... they make me smile and maybe you will too... or even laugh a
bit...

  The father of my kids / ex hubby and
I -  I THINK are now at some point in our lives where we can kind of be civil to
each other so he let me know yesterday that our youngest daughter has her first
birthday party invite.   I'm living with Angel now and Cisco (ex hubby) and I
take turns with the kids back and forth..taking them to school and such, and his
sister helps out when she can which is a big help to us both. Her and I have
even become some what civil to each other, and as the kids' aunt - she does a
lot for them and she really helps.  I'm excited and I will def. be taking Lani
to her friends birthday party, I will def. be there Monday  or Tuesday I believe
it is for picture day.... and I will def. 100% be there for the OPEN HOUSE they
have going on where parents can meet the teachers and see what goes on in
school.  Those are things as a mom - I would never miss.  I'm always at every
single event - field trips, open houses, basketball games, I do it all. I make
sure to keep active in their lives even on the days their dad has them... and I
know when I get my new place - he will do the same. I'll always include him in
everything. I hope the civil between us contines....

On
another note... I was at the Family Dollar yesterday and they can get kind of
pricey with their items... so for the items I can get away with buying at the
DOLLAR TREE where everything is a dollar... (we all know I'm the QUEEN of sales
and cheaper prices)..lmao... I go there... but, I had to get a few things I
couldn't get at the DOLLAR TREE yesterday, so while in DOLLAR GENERAL, I noticed
a Mexican woman with 3 small daughters under 8, and the oldest was holding a
ball and screaming at the top of her lungs, crying that she wanted it. The
mother was telling her she only had $2 and was getting them a bag of chips that
the other 2 sisters wanted as well... they agreed on it and that was final - she
said. I felt so bad for this mother because the oldest kid was really throwing a
tantrum while the mother was trying to pay and leave... so, since I was blessed
with some money yesterday...I decided to give each child (with their mothers
permission)  $1 each...I know it's not much, but I wasn't breaking anymore big
bills ... LOL.... I need to save money... any way, I give each kid $1 and tell
the mother the same exact ball at the DOLLAR TREE a block away is $1... she
thanked me so much..and was so happy that the oldest stopped crying and was
happy with the buck. She told her sister something about La Senora and Dinero...
now, I'm not sure if it's a good thing I got called Senora... because I feel old
as it is..lmao... but hey, if I was able to make these kids smile... why not?  
I told the woman I have three of my own, told her GOD BLESS, and walked out.....
I felt good... I made her day a little easier... :)  I'll always bless someone
if I can...


Let's talk about
how this dang gas station attendant should be blessing ME  !  LMAO... I'm in his
gas station daily sometimes to get coffee and these $5 lotto/Bingo tickets I've
been addicted to since I was 24.   When I was 24, I started playing 

The first time I played this addicting ass scratch off  -I won $25.  I took it
back to the gas station and got another- and won $5.... took it back and got
another, and won $10.... took it back and got another, and stopped winning after
that. I never thought to myself not all of them are winners  - I just kept
playing and playing and playing...and from 24 up until now... the age of 31...
every time I have an extra $5... I always get one of these.... it makes me laugh
because today I thought to myself, "Poor Angel, I yell at him for spending money
on cigarettes and stupid shit, and here I am doing the same thing with these
things!"... lmao... I've won a few bucks here and there over the course of my
years playing this... but , my addiction has gotten bad... I use to think my
uncle Tony had a bad gambling addiction when he use to go bet on horses at the
race track and end up in dept. - but I've brought 2 of these dang things in the
last 24 hours , lost both times... and want to go back and get more... why? 
Because you get so close to winning, you think, "maybe the next ticket WILL be a
winner"...and that's how I think... LMAO... terrible, isn't it?!   Well, last
night, I needed an O - 73 to win $650 bucks... that's a friggin' lot of money! 
For me any way.... it was $500 on one for 4 corners... $50 on another for a line
, and $100 on another for another 4 corners if I had just gotten that one stupid
number.  Of course, they always give you one number away from it because I got 
O - 72 .... but no 73... ugh!  Then today, I go and get another because Angel
yelled at me last night for wanting to go and get another and wouldn't let me
waste money...LOL... and today, I get another one number away from $100.... WHAT
THE HELL MAN!   Guess where I'll be going later? LMAO.... back to the gas
station to try my luck one more time tonight... 3rd time is a charm , isn't it?!
  I haven't played these in over a year. I stopped for a while, but once you get
started again, the thing is a bad habit. So, wish me luck.... hey man, I don't
do drugs,  okay???? THIS IS MY ANTI-DRUG! LMAO.... this morning after not
winning anything again - I felt like Gina in the movie - Eva Mendes when she's
counting her tips from her job and says, "I could have stayed home for this
shit".. LOL..


      What else
what else?? I've decided to stop playing around and go take the math test that
has been keeping me out of college. I can't pass this test for the life of me
and I need to finish and graduate college before I'm friggin' 40.... I am going
to register to take this funky ass test again, and study my ass off to pass it
this time... I'm going to hire a private tutor, open the books, and do whatever
it takes. I asked Angel to get a library card so I can go get out some math
books and I giggled when he joked about me not bringing the books back on time
and them being late in his name. I have a library card but I did that too
mine...so he's worried... I always went to the library. I love to read and there
was one time I just stopped going , didn't take my books back, and now have to
pay for them... so he's right ... but I wouldn't do that to his card... but I do
need to study for this damn tests so online books whatever... it's going to be
done !   I need to get back into college and plan on doing so before Christmas
is here.


Christmas .....my
mom is on a count down trip!  She's telling me every time I see her now how many
days it is until Christmas. I'm def. looking forward to it. I can't say that I'm
not... everyone is getting the same friggin' thing this year! lmao... I'm not
doing a lot of shopping. I know what I'm getting my parents , my brother, Angel,
etc. the only ones who are probably going to be shopped for - are the kids... ! 
  Kids def. need some goodies to open on Christmas. I wouldn't not get them
anything... of course my babies are getting gifts. :) Ah.....I can't believe it
came so fast this year.  I'm looking forward to taking the kids downtown to the
FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS where we go every year... and to see the Disney parade and
all.


I am also currently
working on 3 books that I planned to have published as soon as possible because
if they sell and they're big hits... big bucks baby!! I don't count my chickens
before they're hatched tho because I could also be like Ashley in FRESH PRINCE
when she thought her CDs would sell and she was sitting there at her album
singing with no customers... LOL... God forbid , right?!  I remember in my 8th
grade graduation year book, the yearbook staff and the 8th grade class votes me
MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A WRITER... and I def. want to say, "I made it!"........ I
love to write.




And.... on
another note.... I have a bruised brain , I knocked it off balance ,or
something.... I suffered a concussion last Monday. Not sure if I wrote about it
or not, but I'm back on my feet and on the road to recovery... I'm suppose to
take 3 different kinds of medications, and go see a brain specialist at the
brain clinic... but haven't yet. We all know how much I love doctors and doing
what they suggest....  NNNOOOTTTT!  Seriously, I do need to get a lot of things
done that I've been dragging out... name change on my SS card, Drivers license
renewal...ID update..all of it... and if I sit here and keep typing, you're
going to have tons more to read... so I'm going to sign off for now.. and wish
you all a lot of love and happiness this weekend.


Be safe...
Shel. 

I saw this on Pinterest today and fell in love with the quote... I think for a
long time I've let my fears become bigger than my faith and didn't really take
chances on changing my life for the better even if I knew there were things I
could do to make my life better, things I could improve on, or things I could do
to make a hell of a lot of money.. because I've had that fear that "what if I
didn't succeed", what IF I failed? What if thing didn't work out the way I
planned them? So - I've always kind of just hung back on the things I've wanted
to do to make my life better... and , didn't really "Go for it'....

I was once told that God helps those who help themselves and
for a while, I was losing my faith and felt like "Is there even a God up
there?".... I know how wrong I was to think that and I've always believed in
God, Miracles, and how things happen when you least expect them and need his
help the most.... but, today when I saw this quote... I realized this is why I'm
not living the life I should be/want to be/deserve.... because, my faith hasn't
been bigger than my fears... my fears have been bigger than my faith lately...
and I have to stop that...

I remember one day
this week joking with a good friend about how I need more money and how I
remember when I use to be "balling" as most people call it... when I was rich
enough to go shopping daily.. put gas in my car and fill up the tank..take the
kids wherever they wanted to go, etc. etc. etc. because I was working a damn
good job - 40 - sometimes 50 hours per week, and made over $900 sometimes... I
really got paid good... $1,800 or more monthly... and then when I quit that job
because I was an idiot and got into a stupid argument with the boss one day over
a desk.. Yes, I said a desk (long story)... I thought I could be a "baller" on
my own... but, even thou I've had good jobs...nothing added up to the good job I
did have and let go of... and I always say how I want to be a "baller" like that
again, and be able to have money in the bank beyond needs and wants, and be able
to do anything I need or want...not having to worry about financial
sssshhhh..... well, joking with this friend one day, I also joked about how I
use to baby sit and be a nanny for Strippers and escorts, and professional
models.. Yes - it's true.... and , because they make excellent money... I also
made excellent money because I knew they were getting paid nightly, so I was
getting paid nightly... sometimes $200 a night just to watch all these kids...
once again, I was a "baller" ...... I felt great..... but ... I never thought ,
"These kids are going to get older, and go to school, and won't need me
anymore"..... so when they did - it was another job I lost and wasn't "balling"
like I was being a nanny... or at my previous job... so, when that stopped... I
realized the only way I was going to be a baller and have all this money again..
was to work two or three jobs and bust my ass workin long hours, holidays,
weekends, etc. etc. etc. and that's what I've been trying to do now...


Where am I going with this?


Well joking around with my good friend this
week, we were talking about how I use to get all this money from just being the
nanny to the kids of stripper moms, escort moms, and model moms.. and how that
stopped when the kids got older..I said I should go stand outside of a few strip
clubs, and hand out my 'nanny business cards'. I laughed about it but she was
dead serious and told me, "Girl, you should..you know how much money you would
probably make from stripper moms who have nobody to watch their kids and can't
go to work sometimes....?"... of course, I haven't done that yet, but trust
me... it's in the works... I can make as much as strippers and not have to
strip??? YES PLEASE! LMAO....
I know, I'm silly... but hey, I
love kids, I'm good at being a nanny... so why not?  I will be going on
VistaPrint next week sometime - I believe that's the site - for business cards,
and ordering some... to see how it goes if I do hand out my card.. and not just
to strippers and escorts.. but to moms on the streets, moms in the mall...
whoever has a kid . .. they're getting my card!  This has been one of my biggest
wants - but fears at the same time... I've thought about handing out cards to do
something I'm so good at and getting moms to call me for my business... but I've
had this fear of rejection or that moms would just look at me like, "who is this
stranger? I'm not leaving my kids with her".... but surprisingly, smiling,
shaking a moms hand, playing with her kid a little bit, and introducing who I am
and what I do... knowing I have experience with this.... if my professional card
gets me even a few moms that call and need my services, and I can make extra
cash.. save it up.. and do what I gotta do.. why the hell not? It's all about
motivation and having big faith and small fears... I refuse to let my fears of
rejection or whatever I fear... hold me back from possibly making some really
good money at something I'm really good at.... I have wanted to hand out my
number/card/etc. for a while now to be a nanny again... (for extra cash on the
side because this is not a real job in my eyes and it's only something I would
do for fun and cash).... so, I'm going to have cards printed out, and I'm just
going to introduce myself to moms everywhere.. hand out my card, and if they
call.. they call and get a great nanny and I get extra cash.. if they don't... I
tried and didn't let my fears hold me back... I have big faith as I said, and
it's time to start letting my faith be bigger than my fears , dang it! LOL....



Now.... along with this... I
have been wanting to become an Assistant Manager / Boss / Manager... I don't
care what it is as long as I'm in a positon of power and control...and I swear
to myself and my future employees to be the best damn Boss I can be.. .to be
fair and understanding, and just really cool... I have had the biggest fear of
applying for Boss/Management positions because I wasn't really sure how I would
be  , if I would be any good doing this kind of thing, or what... but, training
is provided for ALL positions of power like that I'm sure... and , I'm def. a
fast learner and can be trained for anything... how hard could it be? So, last
night while looking for good jobs online... I decided not only am I going to
apply to the regular positons I have experience with, but after seeing the above
quote about how you should let your FAITH be bigger than your fears... I def.
took the challenge, felt like it was telling me something and I went for
it...hell, when I use to work at a retail place and my big boss wasn't there,
the assistant manager gave me the big bosses roles and let me make bank runs
with all that cash...let me decide who works when, and who goes on scheduled
lunches when, who does what, etc... I did that... so, it's not like I've never
did anything management related..LOL... I applied for management and Assistant
management positions as well last night ... and , I decided once again, to let
my faith be bigger than my fears. I'm not going to let the fear of not being
sure if I'll be a good boss or whatever hold me back... I'm going to "go for
it"...and that's what I did.... I went for it... I applied for a few boss
positions and why the hell not??? I'm smart as hell...I'm educated...and I'm
loyal... I can do the job. It can't be that hard, can it? 



Today, I walked into an office of a hotel,
and was going to ask a question, but before I could, I started talking to the
maid and she said something about how she's working alone today so she's got all
this stuff to do, etc. etc. etc. I told her if she needed help, I would... (out
of the kindness of my heart)... and because I have nothing else to do today..
LOL... and , God helps those who helps others as well... KARMA ..I 100% believe
in Karma.. and I wrote a post about it below some-where... any way, I knew if I
do something good for someone else... God would eventually do something good for
me, and he did... I didn't expect him to work THAT FAST... but, I'm not
complaining . LMAO...
while I'm looking for ways to make extra
money any way I can to pay my city tickets and get a new car (since the state of
IL. was nice enough to UN-CANCEL my license and give it back)...lmao... I was
offered a job at the hotel. I didn't expect it at all as I said, and I believe
God knows while sitting up there, that I'm looking for any way I can to make
extra cash down here to get my finances sorted out... and he helped me faster
than I can blink when I was going to help that maid... As I mentioned something
about me being able to help and do it... before she could even answer, the hotel
owner asked if I was looking for a job. I said I was looking for a way to earn
extra money on the side to pay tickets, and work through financial junk, bills
and such...and she offered me a job!  She asked if I wanted to help her maids...
now, usually I would turn up my nose and think, "Me? Helping maids??? I'm not a
maid... I don't like the thought of it... I'm my kids' maid!! "... lmao.. and
that's all the maid I plan to be until they're 18... but, right now.. even
helping the maids at the hotel doesn't seem so bad if I want to make more money
and get my stuff paid and get a car...

Not
only that.... GOD IS UP THERE! HE REALLY IS, and I'm ashamed of myself for
questioning his existance recently because on t.v. now..they have a promotion
going on that if you can pay $40 a week and put down $40 ..... you drive out of
there with a brand new car. Doesn't matter what kind of job you have, how long
you've been on it, what kind of credit, etc. if you can do the 40/40 thing...
you drive!  Lord knows I can not afford a huge car note right now but he knows I
need a new car, so with being offered this position helping the maids because
sometimes, there's only one working and doing everything... and with the 40/40
deal... and with how hard God sees I've been trying and putting my faith before
my fears to help myself get what I need... I think he works in 100% mysterious
ways and is now helping me because he sees me helping myselfs and others.... I
think that sums it up the best way I know how.... LOL... I told her I would love
to help her maids for extra cash and she told me how much it pays, and that it's
mornings, which means by the late afternoon, I can have my 2nd job with no
problem... this is what I laugh at.
She told me she would talk
to her husband which hires and fires.. and let me know. She's suppose to contact
me. She had her office door open and instead of talking to her through the
window... I marched right into her office and talked to her there, told her I
would gladly accept this job for extra money, told her how much I needed it, and
to please talk to him and let me know ASAP... I don't care what I have to do as
long as my tickets get paid and I get a brand new car. She was amazed at my
confidence.. hell, I was shocked at my confidence and stood there until she
agreed to contact me ASAP... that's exactly when I knew that I was 100% starting
to put my faith before my fears because my fears would have never allowed me to
step into her office without being asked, and make sure she contact me asap!
That was all confidence and faith right there... and I see how much good putting
my faith above fears is doing for me...

Great
lesson learned and that's where I plan to keep my faith....ABOVE MY FEARS from
now on.... my fears are only going to hold me back financially and in life... so
with this being said... all of you reading this who think you can't do
something, are afraid to do something , are afraid to take chances to go for
what you want because of those fears... take my advice..take the quotes
advice... PUT YOUR FAITH BEFORE YOUR FEARS AND GO FOR IT...take the chance... it
has gotten me so far in such a short amount of time... and I expect more to
come... 


This faith over
fears thing is pretty awesome....  :) 

My
words of wisdom for today...and besides that, this awful cold I have is kicking
my butt. Mr. A - decided to turn the A/C on, then off, then the heat, the A/c,
THEN the heat... then I want the A/C on and off... it's just nuts.. and with
this changing weather.. it's even worse. so, I have this cold now.. stuffing up
my nose, getting to my head, and throat and all the above.. !  Good lord.....


Enough about that....
May you
all have a blessed, happy weekend if I don't get to write .... and
remember...
FAITH OVER FEARS!  I can't stress that enough now!


Shel.

My kids have now been back to school for a few weeks.

   As you can see, it's been a while since I've wrote and things have been crazy and hectic so I barely find the time now. I have an 8th grader, a 4th grade, and a Kindergartner... I have 2 graduations to plan for next year. (OLDEST and youngest daughters)... I need to pick out a hall, catering company, Dj if I plan to have one, decorations, save for graduation fees, and so much more... we all know how time flies , right?! LOL... Along with that, Oldest daughter has came home with high school information and we've been told it's very important for the 8th graders to apply for high schools NOW before December so they can get on the waiting lists, get sports recommendation letters if they play any, and to figure out now which high schools they're going to. Oldest wants to go to the Chicago Bulls College prep academy which is a great school. I've looked into it. They're strict, they're tough and they expect nothing less than the best from their students and I think it will be a great challenge for her. I have also heard her talk about Juarez which is not the greatest from what I hear. I don't care what anyone says...and I'm hoping she changes her mind. We'll be going to the College Prep school in November to check that out . 

Recently, the 8th grade teachers asked the parents to come in for a
mandatory meeting for the 8th graders and information about graduation and such.
  It was  alot of really good information. They talked about the cell phone
policy in school and how kids are allowed to bring cell phones if the parents
feel they NEED to get ahold of the kids before or after school and the kids come
to school alone... but that phones NEED to be shut off during class because if
the phone rings during class.. they will be taken away. ...the school also said
they are NOT responsible for lost or stolen cell phones, because they have more
important things to deal with and worry about... they talked about fighting..
and how 8th graders involved in fights WILL NOT be able to participate in ANY
8th grade graduation activities... UNLESS it's a fight where the student has to
protect him or herself and there is NO adult around to protect them. I had to
laugh when the Principal was talking about this and said, "If it happens on
school grounds, or a few blocks from here and you can run and get me, do it..I'm
here to protect you.. if you don't have to fight...DON'T fight... I don't care
if there's 20 of them, and one of me...I'll protect you. That's what I'm here
for!".... but he did say if there was no adult around and they really can't get
out of the fight and have to protect themselves... that will be excused... and
the person who started the fight will be punished. They also talked about
graduation tickets and fundraising..and said everyone who attends the meeting
gets an extra ticket. That was awesome... :)  ... and he said that because of
this new healthy eating thing where CPS doesn't want sweets and sugary foods in
schools now, he's not sure if the 8th graders are going to do the Chocolate bar
sales which they did in the past to raise money for their 8th grade graduation
trip, but said he would let the parents know during the middle of the year.  
Now normally in the past... schools have went to SPRINGFIELD , IL. for their 8th
grade graduation trips to learn about Lincoln, see his home, and everything else
that comes along with it... that's where my 8th grade class and I went... so I
was amazed when the parents at this meeting were told by the teacher that this
year...they're going on a ONE HOUR buffet style cruise on Lake Michigan downtown
and then they'll have 2 hours to shop, eat again if they want, and just hang
around NAVY PIER and they can bring extra money to do so... A CRUISE???? NAVY
PIER???? and we got stuck going to SPRINGFIELD????? LMAO...what's wrong with
this picture!!!????!  LOL.....oh no... that's not the only thing...get this   : 

After their cruise... they then pick another weekend, day,
whatever.... and decide if they want to go to Springfield, IL. to learn about
Lincoln, see his home and such.... OR....if they want to go to Wisconsin for a
camping type thing I think it was, or a BBQ/Nature hike.... we NEVER did
anything like that!!!!  What the HAY MAN! LMAO.... but that's awesome...Tiffanie
def. has a lot to look forward to and I hope she's excited about all of this. I
know she's excited to be graduating... so, they do fundraisers for these
trips...and the graduation costs are $180... I laughed when I QUIETLY mouthed
the word "WOW" , and the teaceher laughed and said, "WOW IS RIGHT"... lmao... we
both started laughing... I didn't think she saw me.. Oops!!!
But - that $180
pays for cap and gown, the graduation Diploma cover, the autograph book with the
childs name on it, the graduation ribbon, the T - shirt with all the graduating
kids names on it... and some other things so you get your moneys worth .  I told
her dad about it and he was like, "We have to pay how much for what?"...
lmao.... he was trippin on it it... and was telling me he never had to pay that
much. I don't even remember how much my parents paid for my graduation fee...

So, the only thing I'm trying to do now is work and save money
for it.
Frankie is also doing well in school as far as I
know..I want to email his teacher today and see if he's doing his homework and
class work... I know he got in trouble one day for doing the right things... I
was pissed!!!
My little Lani is going through separation
anxiety bad right now. She's use to being home with me or her dad and sleeping
during the day, watching t.v. and such.. she didn't think school would be an ALL
DAY/ EVERY DAY thing..so now that it is... she cries and cries and cries in
school , and her teacher will let us know she had a bad day, or she cried all
day... well, Frankie saw her in the halls one day last week and got out of line
with his class to hug his sister and tell her it was going to be okay. I guess
they had a sub from another class or something and she got mad and told him it's
none of his concern and to get back in line. Frankie got upset and told the
teacher, "IT IS MY CONCERN. THAT'S MY BABY SISTER. I DON'T SEE YOU DOING
ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"....he was wrong for talking to the teacher the way he did,
but he was right for comforting his sister and should not have been told not to
worry about it or whatever... then to top it off, the same teacher when they got
back to class sat him by a group of his friends which are known class clowns...
Frankie is a class clown as well when he sits by them so I asked his regular
teacher at the beginning of the year not to sit him by any of these boys. She
agreed... so , Frankie tells the sub he can't sit by his friends..and she
thought he was being a smartass and puts him by himself in the corner... I was
furious... I've been told that's how that teacher is and that she's very
snotty... if that's the case, she doesn't need to be working with
kids..especially mine!!... and if it one more incident happens... I'M going to
have a meeting with her and the principal... I was going to go up to school for
those incidents but decided to let it slide...
as for Lani...
she's doing much better actually. Her teacher came up with a plan to give Lani
stickers for every day she does good without crying to go home. She stills asks,
"Is it time to go home yet?"... lmao... but if she gets enough stickers for no
crying..she gets a prize. And... I've come up with something as well because
every year... Harlem Irving plaza mall has "Santa parties" where they have
Santa, hot chocolate, train rides, reindeer and such on the roof of the mall...
I told Lani that Santa is watching her to see if she cries or not so if she
doesn't, he can invite her to his party... and that seems to be working! LOL...
and yes, I will take her this year. Hopefully, I'll have a car this time!



Besides that....


I suffered a nice little concussion last
Monday. Hit my head hard as hell on a metal fence and then the concrete. Was
taken to the hospital..knocked out cold... and all is fine... I have to deal
with some brain clinic for the next few months to make sure I heal properly, but
I'm going to be okay... I promise. LOL.... they gave me medication for dizziness
and head aches for the after affects of it all... but, I will make a full
recovery... 

I also applied for the Chicago Police a month ago, and my application was
approved/accepted whatever you want to call it... so , I'm just waiting for a
call or e-mail to go in for the written exam. I'm looking forward to it. It's
scary but at the same time, exciting and I can't wait...



and....




HOLD ON AND
PRAY - is what the people in my car should already know how to do (when I get my
next car) because this little mama can finally drive again!  WOOOO HOOOOOO!!
LOL... Yes, Springfield has finally UN-CANCELED my license and made it VALID...
well, technically speaking. Those who don't know... I take meds for migrains and
BS and need to be checked every 6 months / have my Dr. send the report to
Springfield and tell them it's okay for me to drive... I didn't do that a few
months ago so my license was canceled and it took forever for my Dr. to approve
me to drive again. When she finally did and sent the paper work in, Springfield
said it's been so long, that they wanted THEIR Dr's to look at the paper work
and approve it.  They did... I had no doubt in my mind that they wouldn't... so,
when I called and they told me that they DID remove the cancellation, and that I
could drive again and my license is Valid.. the woman had me laughing when she
said, "Well, kind of...it looks like it's expired so you need to renew it
first"... I already knew that, so it's only $30 or so to renew but I also have
to take the written test and the eye exam all over which is just more time I'm
wasting to get back behind the wheel... however, I'M GETTING BACK BEHIND THE
WHEEL!!!!!!
 

lmao - 
and I promise to stay off the sidewalks , too!!!  (Humor, humor).....

     I also had mentioned in the last post we got a 2nd dog..."Chico"... we got rid of "Chico" thankfully and I gave Frankie some money for letting me!  The thing peed every where except outside... I couldn't have that ... I'm happy with just our Minnie. I think Minnie is a lot happier Chico is gone as well. lmao... anytime someone paid attention to Chico, Minnie went nuts and attacked Chico. LOL. it was bad... I felt like I had 5 kids... the 2 dogs and my 3 monsters.. lmao.

Ending it here,
Peace and Love,
Shel.

As you can see.... my babies started school again for the 2013/2014 school year.
:)  My oldest (Tiffanie) is now 13 and in the 8th grade. She'll be graduating
next year and going to high school. AAAARRGGGHHH!  LOL... but, she's a great
kid. They all are.... Frankie is in the 4th grade. He was held back a year and I
totally blame his first 3rd grade teacher... I have reported her for certain
reasons and I don't think she did anything to help Frankie , but ...what can I
do? He's in 4th, and our goal this year is to just get through and for us to
help him do his best...and he is! He started this year of with an "A" on a
report he had to do. YAY! That's a start... and my little Kailani is in
Kindergarten... oh my!!! The first day of school, she was fine. I walked her
there, she went to class... I registered her and she did great!!! The 2nd day...
yesterday... I don't know what happened but the teacher informed me she cried
and cried and cried on and off all day and was soooo ready to go home... so when
I brought her to school today, she cried and cried and cried, and I had to lie
about how I was going to stay with her but needed a sticker from the office
saying I could stay , so she had to go to class and I'd be right there. She is
NOT stupid and told me, "Go get the sticker while I'm right here!".. lmao... She
hugged me, begged me not to go, told me she wanted to go home, and when the
teacher came for the kids... cried some more as this woman Carmen who works at
the school and knows me - grabbed Lani's hand and lied saying I was going to get
some tissue. She wasn't the only student crying but still - it breaks my
heart!!! Even the lunch room staff felt bad for the ones who were in tears. It's
so sad having to walk away while she's crying but the teacher is trying to get
rid of the whole Separation Anxiety for her students and trying to teach them
Independance, so - she doesn't allow parents beyond the lunch room. I think
she'll get use to it eventually... I just don't think she thought school would
be EVERY DAY! LMAO....
However, besides that - the teacher gave
her students 2 pages of name writing to do to learn to write their names and
Lani did that last night. It took forever but we finally got it done, and the
teacher asked that I help her learn how to write her "K's' for now... we did
it...so I hope she remembers and sticks to it... that took 10 minutes to teach
her. At first I showed her how to write K's, but she wasn't getting it, so I
thought, "how can I make this easier?"... I finally came up with a trick... I
drew a line down, showed her where the middle of the line was, made a dot... did
a line up from the dot.. and then line down from the dot...and that's EXACTLY
how she learned!!! :) She was so excited and asked me if I was so proud of her.
I laughed and told her, "Of course I'm so proud of you"... so I made her do it
over and over and over again until she finally learned the trick, and made
perfect K's.... :) I giggled because when I told the teacher how I taught her,
she was amazed and told me she has to remember that trick! LOL.



   And, today... my oldest
has a meeting the 8th grade parents MUST attend so I'm def. excited and looking
forward to that... the meeting is about graduation requirement, high school
applications, test scores needed, possible scholarships... and a bunch of other
things the parents and 8th graders need to know for graduation and such. I can't
believe she's graduating!!! 

  In other
news.... I will hopefully be moving soon with my love, and my babies... I'm
excited to start this new chapter in my life and can't wait. Ex hubby is very
much bitter and mean to me right now, doesn't want me to be happy and is acting
like a totally big baby... I've tried to be nice. I've tried to be civil...I've
tried to be good friends for our children. The kind of friends who can be at our
oldest daughters graduation with the new man in my life...and he and I can say
hello to each other with no hard feelings... the kind of friends where we can be
at events for our kids together, with his new girl (when he finds one) and my
new man and both be peaceful, say hello..and move on... but right now...I don't
see that happening...
smh.... we had got into a huge fight last
week involving the Chicago Police. I swear, if you wanted to commit a crime,
last week was the time to do it because the whole department seemed to be at my
house. One of the female cops made a statement about learning how to act in
front of the kids, and I felt like telling her, "TELL HIM THAT".... but, there's
never any point talking back to a cop!  You won't win... and it doesn't look
good on me if I'm trying to become one.  Neither of us went to jail that night
thankfully..and I decided that after that day, I was going to "WWJD" it (what
would Jesus do)? ...and just be as peaceful as possible and ignore all his
bitter and mean comments, accusations, and rudeness... it takes two to argue and
I refuse to be the 2nd person in any of it.... I also found out that while we
were married... he lied about a lot of things... AND... even during our divorce
and NOW... he continued to lie about a lot of things... his own cousin ratted
him out... and , I decided to be happy with the new person in my life... I'm
happy completely.... and I just hope ex hubby can be civil in the future...and
that's the end of it..


BESIDES
THAT......we got another dog!  yes, you read right! I didn't want the dog...
but, I didn't want to look like the bad guy either... the kids went to a party
the other day and some guy was trying to give them a cat. I would have rather
had the cat... but the kids wanted another MIN PIN since we already have one..
and , I told them YES - for some crazy reason. The dogs name is Chico... he's a
fat little guy... sweet as hell, but our Minnie does NOT get along with
him...and both dogs fight. I feel like I have 5 kids. The kids fight. The dogs
fight...and I'm always cleaning up after all 5... It's suppose to be Frankie's
dog but he's never home during the day to take care of him. He's always with his
friends, so I asked him if we could sell Chico, and I'd give him the money. He
agreed THANK GOD.... !  I really don't want or need TWO dogs in the house...
it's just too much drama and noise! 



   I had to laugh as well
yesterday because I gave oldest a cell phone for her birthday now that she's
getting older, and needs one... I also like the fact I could call her and know
where she is all the time.  So, she calls me yesterday and asks if she can go to
the park with a few of her friends. The conversation went like
this:


  Me:  Whose the adult
supervision?

Tiff:  One of the kids moms, I
don't know her name.

Me:  Whose the kid? 


Tiff:  I don't know
.

Me:  Then NO..you can NOT
go.

Tiff:  Mom, come on...why
not?

Me:  You don't know the kids name. You
don't know the moms name. I don't know the kids name and I haven't talked to the
mom.

(To which she threw a fit, and hung up on
me..and called me back twice begging to go, to which I still kept saying NO!)...


Tiff:  you know what, I'm 13..I'm
going.

Me:  You're NOT going and if I find out
you did, I'm calling the Police because you did NOT have permission.


Tiff:  Mom, I'm 13, I can go...


Me:  No, you really
can't.

Tiff:  Man, I can't wait until I'm 18.


Me:  Well since you're only 13 and you're not
going .... you'll be alive when you're 18 because bad things happen to 13 year
old girls who think they can do whatever they want... so if I know you're not
going.... I'll feel safe and know you'll be safe and live to see 18.


(to which she hung up and got grounded from
her phone because of her talking back and
attitude...)

I gave it back last night because
she needs it for me to get ahold of her... but, I told her the next time she
talks back and doesn't listen... she is NOT getting it back...