My best friend since 2nd grade (Trish) and I got into a big argument... along with Trish and our friend Melissa arguing as well. Long story , nobody needs to know it... or what went on... but , Melissa and I felt like Trish was wrong for a few things she said and did, Trish felt we were wrong for what we didn't do in the friendship... and it just got out of control so Trish decided to stop talking to both of us.  Melissa is the type who will not go chasing someone who walks out of her life. She feels like she's too old to be chasing people and if people want to walk out of her life..she lets them go.  I'm like that in some ways .... but when it comes to life long - long time friends... I can't be.  So, I wasn't okay that Trish and I weren't talking, and I wasn't okay that after being friends for 24 years... best friends at that - it had come down to us agreeing to NEVER talk again... and that we have nothing in common anymore...(except our love for the t.v. show F.R.I.E.N.D.S) as Trish mentioned... and we should just go our separate ways. We ended the friendship, and for about a month, didn't have any communication at all.  I tried texting her. I tried e-mailing her. I got nothing in return.  Trish and I have had many many argument in the past... but , we've always ended up talking again...but to think that this time might really have been the last time... it bothered me.  I don't just let friends go like that and not try to work it out. I decided to eventually give up, and accept the fact that the friendship was over.  We had both threw mistakes we made over the years in the friendship in each others faces and there was nothing left to say to each other.


However, a few nights later... after accepting it... I was watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and it was an episode where Joey was waiting for an important call for an audition to a commercial he really wanted to do, and Chandler was so busy thinking about other things, doing other things...that when the call came in, and he was suppose to write down the audition time and date/place .... Monica came in and he totally forgot.  When Joey came home and found out someone else got the job and that they did call but Chandler didn't write it down or tell him, Joey was extremely upset, told Chandler he knew how important this was to him, and blamed him for losing the audition. Chandler said it was a mistake, and Joey told him he makes a lot of those mistakes in their friendship.  He then started telling Chandler all the mistakes he had made through-out them being friends.... they did flashbacks to all these mistakes Chandler had made to hurt or piss off Joey... and when Joey was done.. Chandler had told him, "Oh, it's not like you've never made any mistakes"... Joey told him, "Name one"... Chandler went on, and on, and on... about memories and mistakes that Joey had made  - that hurt or pissed off Chandler in the past.  When he was done, I laughed when Joey gave him this weird look and told him, "I said ONE!"...... LOL.   That episode was bitter / sweet to me because it reminded me of all the mistakes Trish and I had thrown in each other's faces and it should have never went down like that.  And... in the episode of Friends that I saw that day... after they went their separate ways, Joey and Chandler both started having flashbacks and memories to all the funny, crazy, and good times they've had together  as well.... and they both realized they missed each other and the friendship...and they weren't okay "not talking".  I thought of all the good, crazy, and funny times and memories Trish and I have had over the years.... and here's some just to name a few..... 


How we met in 2nd grade when she transfered to our school and was put in
our classroom, and this kid Joey , who annoyed the hell out of everyone, made
fun of her, and I stood up for her so he made fun of me for standing up for her
... her and I became best friends and hung out daily after that. My family got
to know her, and her family got to know me.



The time we went to this kid Russel's
house and hung out with him and this kid Freddy and came home past curfew... her
dad and my mom were on the corner waiting for us and started screaming their
heads off.... WHERE WERE YOU GUYS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?  and, what was
even funnier, was that we both said, "watch your mom and my dad, your dad and my
mom - be on the corner waiting for us!".. .and there they were. LMAO...



Or, the time we and our
brothers went up on the train tracks to put pennies on them and flatten em...
and a cop pulled up , saw Trish and I and made us get down. He lectured the hell
out of us, how we could be badly hurt or killed by a train, and asked if anyone
else was up there. We said NO, and he asked, "well then, whose feet are
those?".... and he caught our brothers up there as well, told them to come down,
and said if he passed again and saw us back up there, he was taking us in for
Tresspassing. lol...


And, I can't
forget the time her and I went to Venture and the lights all turned off while we
were sitting in the cafe... and everyone in the store ALL AT ONE TIME said
OOOOHHHHHH, and when they came back on, said AAAAAHHHHH.... like it rehearsed!
lmao.


Another time, my grandma
and pap-pap came in and saw me in Venture with Trish. My grandma asked where my
parents were and I told her "home". She made me get in the car and took me right
back home saying I was too young to be there alone. And, when she left... I told
my dad, "I'm going back to meet up with Trish"... when I got there, Trish was
laughing and asked who let me come back... I told her, "my dad..... it's only 2
blocks away!"...
lol



One memory I'll
always love with Trish, is the night before our 8th grade Springfield, IL. trip.
We had to be there really early in the morning for the buses and I spent the
night at her house. We stayed up watching t.v  until 2 AM, and we finally got
tired and bored but we didn't want to go to sleep so we decided to get shaving
cream and put it on her brothers head. We went back into the living room to
watch t.v. again. We forgot all about it until her brother got up to use the
bathroom and we started cracking up. He came out into the living room to watch
t.v. with us and asked what we were laughing at, and told us... "you guys are
retarted"... lmao... he scratched his head and saw all the shaving cream all
over his hands, and woke up their father. He came out, yelled at us, told us how
immature and lame that was... and when her brother cleaned up and went back to
bed, her dad laughed, and told us, "Next time, if you're gonna do that...do it
right at least... put some on his hand and tickle his nose!"... LMAO... we
started cracking up! 


Another
one that makes me laugh, is the time in 8th grade when we saw Joey (yes, the
same annoying Joey from 2nd grade) dressed up for 8th grade pictures. We were
joking around saying he'd probably be in some dirty jeans with holes in them, a
stained T shirt and his hair all messed up as usual... but when we  saw him...
our mouths dropped open and we had NOTHING to say... he had on black slack
pants, nice shiny black shoes... a nice white dress shirt and a tie!  He looked
good that day.. his hair was slicked back...and we couldn't believe it.. but I
laugh at the looks on our faces because he shut us up that day! LOL...




And, of course -
I'll never forget the time we went to her aunts house with her family... and we
were in the living room..while her mom and aunts talked in the kitchen, and her
dad was in one of her aunts bedrooms watching t.v.  The phone in the living room
rang, she answered it, and there was nobody talking, but she heard breathing. It
happened a few times, and we were getting freaked out. Her aunts even told us
not to answer the phone anymore, but Trish wanted to find out who it was... when
she answered after a few times, she said some guy with a raspy voice said he
knew where we were and he was coming to get us...and hung up. After a few more
weird phone calls, or the guy just breathing , or saying the weirdest stuff...
he'd hang up and Trish would run to the kitchen to tell her aunts and mom what
the guy said this time, or the last time, etc. They were talking about calling
the cops if it continued.. and Trish and I had to laugh when we walked past her
aunts room on our way back to the living room,and we heard the phone in the
living room ring, and saw her dad hang up the phone in the bedroom...and then
the ringing in the living room stopped. Trish laughed and asked if HE was the
one making the calls. Her dad tried NOT to laugh but asked what she was talking
about!  LMAO... good
times!!!


Another time that
cracks me up still that we shared together - is when the Chicago BULLs won the
championships, and Chicago was going crazy...fireworks, people yelling and
screaming , cars beeping, all of it... Trish, me, our brothers, her sister and a
few neighbor teens were outside screaming and making noise at passing cars that
beeped at us and cheered... Trish's mom looked out the window and told us to
come inside... when we got in there.. she said we had to stay in because we were
making too much noise. Trish's brother told her, "SO IS THE REST OF
CHICAGO!".... we started laughing sssoooo hard. She looked at us and told us,
"Don't encourage him!"... lmao.. but she did let us go back outside as long as
we toned it down a bit. :)


And - even as
we became adults... Trish and I still had so many great and funny memories
together....

We were walking back to her
parents house one time from a store we went to and a group of idiots in a car
tried getting our numbers. We lied and told them we didn't even live around
there...we live around Jefferson park... they wanted us to go chill at some
house around the area we were at... so, when they passed by Trish's parents
house a few hours later and saw us sitting on the porch, one of the guys stuck
his head out the window and said, "Oh yeah, Jefferson park huh?".... lol.



Trish had this annoying
little shit living next door to her parents house a few years back. Everytime we
were outside.. he'd always come bother us, or get sarcastic ...talk shit to us
and thought he was funny..lol.. well, there was one day he said something about
how her and I probably meet guys in chat rooms or something... we looked at each
other and got sarcastic with him... I asked him "Chat? What's that?"... Trish
started laughing and asked him, "What's this chat you speak of?".... he looked
so confused really believing we had never heard of chat rooms!  Lmao....



And, recently... her and I met up for
lunch and decided to take it back to her place... as we were eating and watching
Maury, we were laughing and joking so hard about the idiots who cheat on their
women, go there and take lie detector tests or go in the green room and kiss and
flirt with these sexy decoys like they've never seen the Maury show before... !
lmao... seriously.... who hasn't??? So, they know what they're doing!  No girl
is going to be put into a green room with you and really be interested... you've
seen the show before dudes...come on... nothing has changed! lol... we thought
it was hilirious how these guys come on the show and think they'll be different
and maybe the sexy decoy is really a woman waiting to be on the show...smh! 
Trish and I had a great time making fun of them and men we know as well.. LOL.




  So, as I
watched Joey and Chandler recall their funny and good memories together... it
made me think of ours... and this isn't all of them.. I'd be here all night if I
wrote about all of them.. but these are a few of the funniest over the years...
we have tons more... so, I'd love to keep my friendship with Trish. It's been
too damn long with too many memories - good and bad - and we always made it thru
the bad... One thing Joey (our 2nd grade pest) always did... was find a way to
make her and I talk again if we weren't speaking to each other over the years...
and I recently decided to take the first step and email her.. and I told her
just that.. If Joey was right and he knew we weren't talking right now, he'd do
something to fix that. Sadly, Joey is in Texas and we no longer talk to him...
so , we have to fix this on our own. I emaild her on FB, and told her I was
going to send her a 15 page letter that I wrote by hand... which I really did,
but after it became 17 pages and I still had so much more to say... I decided
just this time... that a personal email would work best, so she gave me her
personal email address,and I'll be doing that tonight! : )  I'm happy that I got
that off my chest and now it's time to open my thoughts, mind and heart to her
and she said she has a lot she'd like to say to me too - so hopefully, this is
either going to be a new beginning, a fresh start to a beautiful friendship that
was always good, but can be even better - or... it's going to be the final
good-bye... but I hope for the first. Her and I have a lot of history and that's
not something I'd like to walk away from and pretend I never knew her. I just
can't do that.  My friendships mean so much more to me and if I can save them, I
will.... I'll be emailing her tonight. 

It's true what the saying says...
"It's great when 2 strangers become the best of friends, 
but so sad when the best of friends become like strangers!"..... oy!
 

(Just an update on this so I don't have to write a whole new post.... we're friends again.. we both admitted to our mistakes over the years, we both admitted we're stubborn, LOL... and we need to both work on this friendship for it to work! )  :)
NOW, IF only I could get Melissa and Trish to talk again. smh.... we're like a bunch of high school girls when it comes to this shit. LMAO...
this is crap my teen daughter should be going through, not me!

Peace and Love,
Shel.

I was sitting here thinking about my kids and how I have gotten to be a
professional at hair dying because of the gray hairs that have popped in since
having them! Lmao...
Seriously tho... I love my kids dearly and
I mean it when I say even though I'm their strength when they really need it,
need a protector, guidance, someone to help with homework, etc... I do all of
that... and clean their messes... but in reality, they're my strength and they
don't even know it.  I've had some of the best times with my children and can
now look back and shake my head - but also wonder how the hell I made it through
some of them without screaming as a mother. My kids have def. kept me on my
feet, and I've had to stay one step ahead of them at all times but one thing I
am proud of - is that my kids - despite some minor trouble here and there - have
not been in any MAJOR trouble as of yet..thankfully!  I think the things they
have done have been lessons learned, and I think I've handled them all pretty
well... each gray hair I may have tells a different story as to why I have it
there... LOL... and may I say that as I was sitting here thinking about
everything when it comes to my kids... I've def. had a few laughs, a few very
PISSED OFF moments, and a few YOU'RE GROUNDED'S more than I can count. One thing
I love is that my oldest daughter once told one of her friends, "My mom finds
out EVERYTHING", and she was sure the hell right. I do... !  I told my kids they
never know where I'll be... when I'll be watching them and they don't even know
it... etc. so they need to always do what's right and make the right
decisions... however... there have been some moments when as a mother - I've had
to take charge and one thing I love about myself as a mother... is that they
DON'T get away with much... I DO usually always find out things even when I
trick them into telling me things.. lmao... and that... besides the cleaning
their messes, helping with homework and such.... even when they get into their
own messes... and I need to be tough and firm... I have a lot of fun being their
mother... gray hairs and all... I'm not sure if I want to look back at some of
my adventures with them as their mother and laugh now that it's the past... or
scream!!! Either way..... I always know when something isn't right and because
of how I was when I was a teenager and their ages... I know what to look for,
when they're lying, and when something is off about something...



  Like the time Frankie came
home and I asked him what happened in school that day. He said nothing and asked
what I meant. I told him, "you tell me...your teacher called me!"... his teacher
DID NOT call me at all - but he replied with a smile and said, "Ohhhh , man
because me and a few of my friends were talking while she was talking and we
weren't paying attention so we all got in trouble!".... I laughed and told him,
'Oh really? Because you just busted yourself out...your teacher never called!
SO, that's all I have to do to get truth out of you?".... he laughed. His older
sister laughed and told him how stupid he was! LMAO...


Another time, I got a call from his teacher
for real saying him and his friends were making spitball guns out of pens and
she made him and his friends throw them away... and....Frankie had all the
spitballs on him! smh.... BOYS , I TELL YA!!!!



   Like the time Frankie
recently came home with Tiffie and they had food from a fast food place by our
house. I asked how they got money to get the food and Tiffie said she didn't
know..Frankie had $7.  I asked how and he said he sold some little flashlight
toys he had. I know him and his friends are always trading toys and selling each
other stuff for a few bucks here and there so I didn't think anything of it at
first. I didn't remember seeing Frankie with any flashlights and I know all his
toys... but again, like I said.. if he traded it at school for something and
then sold the flashlights without bringing them home - that would explain it.
But then... Frankie had also gotten out late from school that day and I asked
why. He said because his teacher didn't let the class leave on time since
someone stole money from one of the other kids and the teacher asked everyone to
empty their pockets. Me as a mother - me as a bratty ass teenager when I was his
age and up... something didn't sit well with his little story at all and I knew
right away something wasn't right .... someone stole money from a kid in his
class, and he suddenly had money to eat and feed his older sister... I asked
Frankie if HE took the kids money..He gave me a funny look and said NO. I kept
it in the back of my mind because I didn't believe him and I did think he was
involved some how. As people say ...MAMA KNOWS CHILD! Lmao... I couldn't accuse
him of anything tho without knowing so I just made sure to remember his story
about the flashlights just incase... the next day.... I get a call from his
teacher, Ms. Rivera. She said she was calling with some bad news and my heart
sank and my blood pressure went up right away because I had a feeling it was for
the money.  I'm not stupid and my kids know I catch on to stuff quick.. well,
she had told me that a few kids came up to her and said that Frankie had asked
another boy Eric to steal the money but he didn't want to... so a boy named Ivan
stole it and gave it to Eric - who then gave it to Frankie after school...and
Frankie treated his sister and himself to fast food after.  I was sssoooo mad
because Frankie does NOT have to steal money to eat, so he couldn't use that as
an excuse.  I cook - I bake - I made a big meal that day. I remember so he was
coming home to dinner.... he doesn't starve... !  She then said that when she
confronted Frankie, he had the balls to bring his sister in it and said she
spent the money... (yes,the teacher actually said "had the balls"... ) LOl.. so,
I was embarassed and my blood boiled because as I said, I had the feeling
Frankie took the money or had some involvement in it.  I volunteer for
everything in that school. School events, field trips, etc. so the staff know
me, and Frankie's dad went to and graduated from that school so they know him as
well.   When we met with the teacher ..I told her to do what she has to do and
if that meant calling the Police , so be it! Of course, I knew the school
wouldn't take it THAT FAR but it sure scared the hell out of Frankie!  That was
all I wanted to do.  So, the next day...they had no school because of report
card pick up, and I told Frankie the Police would most likely be there and if
they decided to take him to Juvenile for "Theft", there was nothing I can do so
please don't cry and beg me to take him home or stop them. He was as the saying
goes, "Shitting bricks!"... lmao... I wanted him to be afraid -VERY AFRAID - so
he remembers the feeling of it and never does it again.  Well, it worked... he
was scared walking into that school.. and didn't know what to expect. Lucky for
him, I lied... and he learned his lesson.. his teacher wanted more consquences
but because the dean of students knows his dad and I... he decided to give
Frankie 3 days of detention with the other 2 boys who actually stole the money.
Frankie tells me, "But, I'm not the one who stole it"... I told him, "But they
stole it for you... and you spent it knowing it was stolen, which makes you just
as guilty as them!".... and he did his detention.  When we talked to the
Principal... the Principal took it pretty well and said , "Listen, I know both
of you are great parents, and you're both involved with your kids, so I trust
you guys to handle this in your own way at home, and if there's anything I can
do...I'll do it for you guys!".... part of me wanted to ask him to call the
Police and just see if they'll scare the crap out of Frankie, but.... part of me
felt like he did learn his lesson because of how scared he was and he hasn't
stolen anything since... ! 

And, then....
there was the time Tiffanie had me cracking up... my oldest thinks she's slick! 
So, one day... her and her friend Amy decide while in front of my apartment,
that they're going whisper and look at me and smile... I asked what was going on
and Amy asks if Tiffanie can go to her house. I said, "If I can call your mom to
make sure she'll be home and you guys will be IN the house!"... Amy and Tiffanie
decide to give each other this 

 
              
                 

"now what do we say?"... kind of look .... like they didn't expect me to want to
call Amy's mother and just be like, "Ok, go ahead!".... YEAH RIGHT...I'm MY
MOTHERS DAUGHTER...my mother use to come looking for my ass. My mother use to
want to know who, what, when ,where, why, how, time, place, date, numbers, etc.
etc. etc. .... I have turned into my mother!!!  LMAO.. that's exactly how I am
now... I'm strict.. I don't play !!! SO.... Amy tells me she doesn't know her
moms number by heart and asks if Tiffanie can walk with her to get it and bring
it back. I tell Amy, "Noooo... but you can walk and get it and bring it back and
when I talk to her, then Tiffanie can go to your house!"... again, the girls
look at each other and smile because whatever plan they had  - didn't work....
so Tiffanie tells me, "Her mom doesn't know she's over here... "... I asked Amy
if she was suppose to be. She said no, that her mom thinks she's walking her dog
around the block . I started laughing so hard because when I was a teenager, the
girl that lived next door to our old house and I use to use the excuse of waling
her dog Monet, and my family's dog RUSTY to the park...so we could meet up with
some friends we use to hang with as well... ...I don't think so girls!!!
LMAO....  I told Amy, "Oooohhh....I get it... you told your mom you were walking
your dog around the block... came here.....so you can get Tiffanie , tell me
you're going to your house... and while your mom thinks you're walking the dog,
and I think Tiffanie's by your house, you guys get to sneak to another friends
house! NO WAY!'..... Both girls started laughing. Tiffanie and Amy tried acting
innocent... NICE TRY GIRLS...BEEN THERE/DONE THAT...!!! LMAO.. one step ahead of
my kids at all times.  I use to do that when I was their ages. My friends and I
use to say we were going here and there and end up somewhere else... or by
someone elses house.. needless to say, I told the girls they could either both
stay in the back yard... or say Good-bye to each other and see each other in
school.   They decided to stay in our yard... gee...I wonder why ! LOL...



One thing that drives me nuts
- is the new hobby that my kids have picked up. For some reason, they have taken
up throwing rocks, sticks, or whatever they could find up on power lines and
trying to get shoes down that have been thrown up there. I have explained the
dangers of this and they don't do it anymore... but - recently (about a month or
so ago when they still did it).... my ex husband (their dad) called me and told
me that the 2 oldest kids were "missing".  I asked what he meant by "missing",
and he said that they were suppose to be in the alley getting some Jordans off
the power line or something..and that they were playing by his moms house and
now they're not in front , or in the alley. I got extremely pissed off because
when they're over there... they seem to try to be slick... so, I dropped my
youngest off at his moms, and went looking for my 2 oldest.  I always know where
they are and they're always in front of their grandmas playing with the kids
since we have no kids on our block... but this one day that they were supposedly
getting the Jordans.... and then nobody from my ex -husbands family could find
them... as I said - I went looking. I already knew to look by the school.  They
are NOT allowed to be by the school without an adult because there's gang
bangers who hang out over there, and they have been told this plenty of times!!!
  So ,  I go past the school, turn the corner...and there's my kids. Walking like
nothing..like they have no care in the world... with 2 other people.  I couldn't
see who from the distance.  I decided instead of calling their names... to sneak
up on them.  Frankie turned around a few times and I thought for sure he'd see
me, but I ducked and dodged behind cards and trees! LMAO... (learned that trying
to hide from my own mother when I was a teenager). LOL... any way... the kids
turned the corner on the other side of the school so it gave me time to run up
the block, turn the corner and get right behind them.  Frankie turned around and
saw me right away. I told him to be quiet... and keep walking because I knew
that his sister was the ring leader !!!  I got RIGHT ON HER ASS and said - RIGHT
IN HER EAR... "HIIIII...HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING?'.... This girl jumped SKY HIGH!
LMFAO!!! Her team mates in basketball call her LADY JORDAN because of how good
she plays ball, but if you could have seen how high she jumped when she heard my
voice behind her the day they snuck to the school... THAT WAS a JORDAN JUMP!
LMAO... she looked so nervous and didn't know what to say... all she could
mumble was, "Fine, how's yours?"... lmao.. I told her how GROUNDED she was and
Frankie as well.  He tried telling me he didn't do anything, and that Tiffanie
dragged him with. I told him he has a mind of his own, and if he didn't want to
come with , he could have went back to the grandmas and told her Tiffanie is
going to the park.. . I laughed because Tiffanie asked me, "How do you do it?"..
I asked what? and she said... "Always know where to find us?"... I told her,
"Honey... I'm a mother.. we're like blood hounds... we SSSSMMMEEEELLLLL our
puppies from miles away!"... LOL...


There
was another day when she snuck off and thought just because I wasn't home, I
wouldn't find her, or she could be back before I got home...idk... but ex hubby
told me she wasn't home and I went to her friend Amy's when he told me she was
with her.  I got about a block away when I saw Amy and Tiffanie walking out of
Amy's house.  Tiffanie isn't allowed by Amy's because
1... it's
on a busy street where cars fly and anything can happen...
and
2... gang bangers pass by back and forth..and gang bangers hang out in front of
Amy's house...
so, when I saw Tiffanie and her come out... I
screamed Tiffanie's name a good 3 times before she finally turned around and she
was walking the other way instead of twords home... I told her, "GET OVER HERE ,
RIGHT NOW!!"...and she knew how mad I was so smiled at Amy and said Bye right
away.   When she got close to me, I told her how lucky she is that I found her
because if she snuck off one more time, I was calling the Police next time...and
I really meant that!!!!  I grounded her and she didn't like it...

But,.... as far as those 2 times... that's the last time she
ever tried sneaking away with friends..




Something
that makes me laugh and makes me proud at the same time... is when ex hubby and
I gave our oldest kids money from our taxes for them to spend on themselves any
way they wanted to.  They each had $150.  Oldest daughter wanted to go to the
mall...and she got herself a few snapback hats, a shirt, and a few other things,
but saved money because she wanted a real pair of Jordans.  When I took her to
North Riverside Mall for her Jordans... we walked up and down the mall... ALL
OVER...upstairs, downstairs, back and forth because if you haven't been to North
Riverside mall... they have at least 10 different shoe stores... it's crazy! 
So... every shoe store we went to was expensive and she only had $65 left. She
had brought a pair of Adidas with her $150, returned the Adidas - got the money
back and was looking for Jordans. Finally, it was getting late... she wanted to
go see a movie too - and I was treating her to it... so , I told her, "Listen,
just pick a pair of shoes from this store because we're not going to another
one...I'm tired and it's late!".... she found  a pair of Jordans for $80. I
figured, "What the hell..I only have to put in a few extra bucks of my own
money, go ahead!".... so , she gets the shoes, and it came out to $95... with
tax... seriously.....that much money in taxes for shoes?????? But, I got them
for her and put in my money with her $65... I made her agree to something tho...
she had a little job taking out the garbage for the lady upstairs for $4 a
week... I told her she either needs to save up the $4 every week and give me
back the money I put in for her shoes... OR.... she needs to bring the C she has
in math up to a B... wouldn't cha know it... she sure the hell did bring that C
up to a B... so I didn't make her pay me back! LOL... kid really works her ass
off when it comes to money! LMAO....



Another moment with my oldest
kids....is a FACEBOOK CLASSIC I call it... My oldest kids have Facebook.  I
never wanted them to have it, but their friends all have it, and also...their
little cousins have it for family and close friends, so I figured no harm as
long as I have their passwords, and check their Facebooks often... which I do. I
mostly admit to checking Tiffanie's Facebook more than Frankie's because she's
almost a teenager and has tons more friends on her page, and talks to more
people. I constantly monitor her account and her life as much as I can.  So -
Frankie one day a few months ago asked, "Are you going to check my Facebook?"...
I didn't get why he was asking, and decided, "Yes...I am!"... and that day...I
did check his Facebook, and seen something I did NOT like.   As a mother, my
blood BOILED!!!  I   I noticed an email to my son from this boy Silver.  Silver
was telling my son to tell Tiffanie he loves her. HE LOVES HER????  MY DAUGHTER
IS 12!  I flipped! I looked on this kid Silver's profile and saw that he was "IN
A RELATIONSHIP", said something on his last status about HIS GIRL... and , had
some disturbing photos... plus - 2 of my daughter by herself.. and one of him
kissing my daughter on the cheek and her smiling. I lost it !!!!!  I decided to
find out more about him and asked my son who he was. My son told me ALL about
him, and then told me that him and Tiffanie were dating. Me????  I was
like
   
   

Yesterday was my Grandmothers (R.I.P.) birthday as I mentioned below. She would
have been 86.  I have been staying at my parents house with my kids for a few
days to relax my mind and get out of my place, so I decided to take my son
Frankie and my youngest daughter Lani and go to the store. I had a lot of bad
news yesterday and didn't want to be inside, and I felt like doing something
fun....
We ended up getting 3 pizzas from the store, some pop,
ice cream, and a few other things, along with trying to figure out what to get
for dessert. We ended up by the bakery section and saw all the birthday cakes in
the freezers... and got one of those. My dads birthday is the 15th and I
probably won't be here for it, and since Yia Yia's was yesterday, I decided to
ask the bakery woman to write "Happy birthday Grandpa and Yia Yia", on the cake.
When she finished, she brought it around the counter to me and asked if she
could ask me a question. I told her "Sure", and she asked, "Why Grandpa and Yia
Yia and not Pappou".. Pappou is grandpa in Greek so I guess she thought the two
were together... I replied with, "How do I explain this one?"... and she
giggled. I told her the grandpa was my dad and my kids grandpa... and the Yia
Yia was actually my moms mom who passed away so no relations.. and she
understood - I hope! LOL... I tried my best to explain it to her any way.

So....
we got the cake, the pizza, the pop and
ice cream... and came back... we all sat outside and ate, had a good time.. my
youngest went swimming in the back yard pool, and after dinner, my sister in law
and I took the cake outside to my dad.
Now... here's the weird
part......

She had lit the candles in the hallway
before we took the cake outside. I told her the wind was going to blow them out
and suggested she did it outside but she did it any way indoors... when she got
outside, sure enough - the wind blew the candles out. My mother noticed the cake
had her moms name from my brother and I on it also, and she had tears in her
eyes.. said , "Happy birthday mom", and blew a kiss to the sky... My sister in
law took the cake to my dad and lit them again. They stayed lit and as soon as
we sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him .... the candles went out. ALL OF THEM at one
time... so my sister in law was going to lit them again but a few seconds before
she could, they ALL came back on at the same time after going out. And no..they
were NOT trick candles. We thought it was weird but didn't think much of
it...and then, my brother behind me said, "Well, Yia Yia blew out her candles
and then lit them again for dad".... I didn't even think of it that way, but you
never know.. I totally believe in spirits around us, and it could def. have been
that she was here with us today and blew out the candles on the cake that had
her name on it as well..

    

After we cleaned up and came in the house, my brother and sister in law took the
kids to the store to get a few things, and I was talking to my mother about the
candles going out as soon as we finished singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and then coming
back on all at once without having to be lit again... and dad able to blow them
out.  I told my mother what my brother said, and she started crying so hard. I
felt bad... she didn't even think of it that way and when I mentioned it, she
freaked out and said it WAS weird how they didn't go off until after we finished
singing and then came back on before my sister in law could lit them again - all
at one time as well... so, as of right now, we'd like to think Yia Yia was with
us, blew out her candles, and then re-lit them for my dad to do it as well. I
don't care how silly, or wild it sounds.... it's a nice thought.... !  and a
damn good explanation for what happened with the candles... !  :)    and

My yia yia was awesome!  Def. number 1  !!!

  
Today is her birthday and I was going to talk about me losing her, how it went,
how we found out she had cancer and how fast it took her - but I decided to keep
it light ... positive and happy today instead of tears, and re-calling losing
her. I want to celebrate her life and not remember her death. Those who don't
know, I am Greek - and "Yia Yia" is GRANDMA in Greek - which is what my brother
and I use to call her.  She was like a 2nd mother to us and raised us pretty
much while our parents worked all the time.  She lived downstairs from us when
we were little, and it was easy for my parents to drop my brother and I off
downstairs and go to work. Yia Yia was great with us.. tough and didn't take no
shit  - but very loving, sweet, kind and a great person. I have a lot of good
memories of her, and that's what I want to share today.


   When I was younger... and Yia Yia use to
get me ready for school, she always wanted my hair perfect!  I mean PERFECT !!! 
She would take it down and put it up again and again if it wasn't. It had to be
in a neat Pony tail way on top of my head and if some was sticking out, she had
to do it again and again. I use to get irritated and she fought with me and told
me to hold on.  But, she always made it nice. I remember the yellow and black
brush she always used on me. LOL....

I also
remember my grandpa walking us to school and waiting for us after school, but
when he couldn't do it anymore... Yia Yia hired an 8th grader to bring me home,
and another to bring my brother home daily.. she paid the girls on Fridays every
week. I'm not sure how much they got but they got paid well. On the last day of
school when I was in 3rd grade I believe... Melinda - the girl Yia Yia paid to
walk me home , told me to walk home by myself because she was going home with
her friends. I told her I couldn't, and she told me I would be fine. She went
the other way, and I walked home alone. Yia Yia was waiting on the porch for me,
and saw me alone.  I ended up falling in the middle of the street and almost got
hit by a car - but was lucky enough to have the car going slow enough to stop.
Thankfully !!!  I cried thinking I'd get in trouble but she told me to go inside
while she waited for Melinda .   Melinda came by a while later and was waiting
for her money .  Yia Yia screamed at her and refused to pay her!  She was sent
on her way with no money.... Yia Yia then said it was okay for me to walk home
with friends but never again alone...and she'd always be outside waiting when I
did . 


   Another time, I was
trusted to go by my best friends house on the next block with my bike as long as
I didn't ride on to Leclaire which was the busy street where cars fly by. My
best friend lived on a dead end so riding my bike there was fine. My best
friend, her brother and sister, and a few of our friends rode onto the busy
street and back, so I figured if I did it, Yia Yia would never know.
Ppppfffttt... lmao!  I was sooo wrong... I did it once and heard Yia Yia
screaming, "GET YOUR LITTLE ASS HOME NOW AND PUT YOUR BIKE AWAY...YOU'RE
GROUNDED!!!"...... her and Papa (my grandpa) brought their lawn chairs to the
corner to check out the "scenery"... or spy on me...I never figured it out!
LMAO... bringing your lawn chairs to the corner to check out the scenery ? Who
does that?!!! LOL...

    One thing my mother
use to HATE as I got older and had kids of my own - is when my Yia Yia and I use
to joke around in dirty ways. I'd tell her to get to the corner I put her on and
make my money, and Yia Yia would joke back that she wasn't going no where until
I put her on the other side because she wasn't making money on the side I had
her on.  LMAO... my mother use to tell us the way we joked sounded so wrong and
told us both not to talk like that. Hey... I think if you can joke with your
grandma like that - you've been blessed! LMAO...



    When we were younger,
and brought home paddles... (those things with the small balls attached that
kids play with) lmao... yia yia would cut off the balls and save the paddles on
the shelf she had incase we were bad, and if we acted up, talked back, etc. we
took a paddle to the ass! LMAO... and back then... it was called DISCIPLINE -
NOT CHILD ABUSE!!! LOL... and look, we turned out okay!  :) LOL...



   There was one time when I
was about 12 or so... that I said something to her to piss her off or did
something, and she chased me up the stairs and I had the top bunk bed so I got
on it, went way to the corner and told her she couldn't catch me! LMAO... she
told me I had to come downstairs sometime and she'd be waiting. Well, I went
down stairs thinking she had cooled off, and WACK....got smacked! LOL... she
didn't play!!!! She was tough and you were NOT going to get away with things
when she was around.

   One memory that STILL
cracks me up and makes me laugh when I think about it... is when I was in high
school and had a friend named Joey over. He and I had been friends since
Kindgergarten and he was such a funny kid.... on this one summer day, all my
family was sitting outside and my grandmother pulled Money out of her house robe
, pretended to whisper to Joey, and showed him the money nodding her head tword
the house door like telling him to go inside with her! LMAO... Yes, she was JUST
KIDDING!!! But, the look on his face was priceless and she told him , "Listen,
there's a lot of snow on the roof... but a lot of fire in the fireplace...come
on!"... he told her, "Pppfftt... well your fire place ain't getting none of my
wood!".... LMAO!    Good times....



    When I started puking my
guts out every morning, and thought I had the flu in 1999... Yia Yia looked at
me, and told me I was pregnant. I told her I had the flu.. she told me, "Oh, I
don't believe that, you're pregnant!"... and she was right! LMAO... I didn't
even know I was pregnant. I really thought I had the flu... but she insisted and
it was confirmed.. after... she told me, "I told you so!"... LOL.


   When I had my oldest daughter , I lived upstairs with
her and one thing Yia Yia would do every morning is call me and ask me to bring
the baby down so she can see her. I would and while Yia Yia was holding her,
she'd look at me and tell me I could go back upstairs! LOL... Yia Yia loved
holding her and watching her while I cleaned upstairs, did laundry, or whatever
I was doing...and when she fell asleep in Yia Yia's arms, she'd call me to come
get her. : )


    Yia Yia also
paid for our first apartment when my ex husband , my oldest daughter as a baby,
and I moved out of my parents place .   We were supposed to pay her back. That
was the agreement. But, when we tried, she didn't want the money back and told
us to save it or buy the baby some stuff .  We paid her half back and used some
on the baby.

   And, when she got older and
was un-able to walk as good ... got sicker, etc. she still didn't let it hold
her back . We had gone out to my Aunt and Uncles in Fox Lake one day for a BBQ
and fun... and , she said she was going for a swim in the lake. The dock is
rocky and shakes so we were all nervous. My mother couldn't watch as my
grand-mother climbed in and she had everyone on edge thinking it was a bad
idea... but, she did it to prove a point that she could still do things she once
did, and to show off in front of this man she sort of had a crush on! LMAO... it
was cute... and I admit.. even until her last breath, she still fought with
every ounce of her to make her life full. God blessed that woman! 


    One thing I do remember at the end of her
life, is that the grief therapist told us if she starts seeing things that we
don't see - or people... she's near the end of her life, and if we hear her
talking about seeing people, she really is.... I believe in spirits and all -
but I didn't really know if this whole "seeing things or people we can't see"
was real at the end of someones life... however... my ex and I had gone to see
her a few days before she passed, and she was in and out of acoma. She looked at
me that day and told me she saw what sounded like "Ju" and she couldn't choke
out the rest so I felt like she was going to say she saw "Jesus", but didn't
want to tell anyone about it, so I asked my ex not to as well.. he was with me
and when I tried waking her up again to try to get a name out of her... she went
back to sleep and we left.  I had gone again to see her the next day, and my
mother was standing outside her room crying. I asked what happened, and she said
"Candy", the sweet nurse who adored my grandmother while she was in hospice care
(end of her life care) , was walking past her room and heard her talking to a
"Joey"... and asking why he was so far away... telling him to come closer. 
Candy thought someone was in there with her, but when she looked, there was
nobody and my grandmother was sleeping . My mother felt like it was Joey (my
grandmothers great Nephew I believe he was who was like a son to her), that was
coming for her.  That explained that J name she tried to choke out with me. 
Joey died many many years ago.....
Any way   .... I still
wasn't sure until one day, we were in the room, and told her we'd be back
because we were going to eat... she looked next to my mother and asked "whose
that?"... we all freaked out. My mother tried to convince her there was nobody
next to her... but Yia Yia argued there was.... after that, I was sure the whole
spirits and seein things at the end of someones life was real.... is real....
idk...

   But....through-out her life... Yia
Yia was always so strong. From open heart surgery, to Cancer she beat, to all
the things she's done, seen and been through... I miss that woman and I know
there's tons of other memories that are not popping into my mind right now that
I'll update on later if I think of more... but , I have always loved her dearly,
like a 2nd mother... and she was an amazing, funny, sweet, kind, tough woman !  
So today....


I celebrate her life by
remembering her accomplishments, and our good times together.... and say HAPPY
BIRTHDAY Yia Yia... you loved to dance and I'm sure that's exactly what you're
doing up there... and who knows... maybe Uncle Tony (who use to DJ) is Dj-ing
your party rrriiigghhhtt now!  :) At least... I'd like to think so because it
makes me smile!




   Until
next time,
Shel.

Is exactly how I've felt about the last few weeks.

   July 2nd... everything with mine and my ex-husbands court stuff and child Visitation / Joint Custody hearing and such.. were finalized.

We went to court at 12 PM like we were scheduled by the Domestic Relations
division, and told what paperwork we were suppose to bring. We got to court on
time, sat in the court room waiting for another case to be finished, and the
judge asked who we were. When we told her, she said we were't on the schedule
until 2 PM. Looking at the time ,  I knew we were NOT going to be out of there
any time soon... but when the judge said she would take our case right then and
there just to get us out of there and be polite, we were thrilled .   It was
nice of her because she didn't have to do that for us.  However, when she
checked our paperwork, we were missing a few things , so ... she told the Court
room sheriff and the court room reporter to let her know when we were ready. The
reporter and sheriff gave us the extra papers we were missing, helped us fill
them out... and we were told to give them to the court room clerk... now this
woman - had the worst attitude and you could tell she didn't want to be there,
nor deal with us! She didn't help us find anything, I had a stack of paperwork
and she wasn't telling me what she needed except , "page this and it should look
like that", and when I couldn't find it, I tried handing her the stack ... she
gave me a dirty look and told me, "I ain't trying to look thru all that"... no
smile or nothing.  Everyone at the court house was pretty nice except this clerk
.  When we were finally ready, the judge was brought back out. Cisco (ex hubby)
was nervous because it was a female judge , but we were told she was really
sweet and would help us out if she could .  (very true... she was a doll...) an
older white woman with blondish/graying hair...and just so gentle and kind. 


  When she came back out and we were sworn in,
she went through the paperwork, asked about our kids, and asked where our
Custody arrangement papers were.  I never got anything like that and told her I
didn't , so she gave us the packet of paperwork we had to fill out and told us
that's the most important thing because what she's worried about, is the kids. 
She told us she would see us back at 2 PM... Ahhhhhh !!!! LOL... the court
reporter walked out with us and explained to us better how to fill it out and
just to do the best we can coming up with what days we each want the kids and
what's going to work out best for us and them. She told us the judge pretty much
will go along with anything we come up with as long as the court knows the kids
are taken care of 7 days a week and will be okay.
So, Cisco and
I sat in the waiting area with the tables and came up with a plan together. He
decided he could take the kids on Sundays and Mondays since he's off... and was
trying to come up with another day. He's sometimes off on Fridays, but wants a
day for himself to go out and have fun -  and he deserves it so I was fine with
that.  So - he decided since he's off on Tuesdays, he'd just have the kids 3
days in a row - and I'd have them the other 4.  The judge said the back pages
were for holiday custody - but if we didn't want to do that, and just figure
that out between us when holidays came (because plans can change)... that was
fine so we left that blank .    However, I kind of wish we did the holiday one
as well.... I'll get into that in a few.

   
At 2 PM, we went back into the court room, and was told to give the custody
agreement to the clerk. This "not so nice" woman gave us an attitude and tells
me I need 3 copies of the custody agreement and need to go downstairs to make
those copies . She had an attitude about it as well like we were suppose to know
already.  When she walked out, Cisco asked the reporter, "Is she always like
this? She has a bad attitude... she could be a little nicer... she doesn't have
to be like that or talk to us like that".... I looked at Cisco with
this

Look .... and said, "Cisco, this is NOT the place you want to use your FREEDOM
OF SPEECH! ".... the reporter laughed, agreed with me and told him, "In court,
you just kind of have to shut up and suck it up... she's always like that tho,
don't feel bad. She's like that with me and I work with her".  
So - we did
the copies, the judge came back out at 2 PM , agreed with the arrangement we
came up with, and awarded main custody to me - and he has the kids 3 days a
week. Now, the whole holiday thing.... smh!  I think this is where were going to
have issues. This is why I wish we would have done the holiday agreement now.


   4th of July this year - I wanted the kids. 
I was probably going to go to my Uncles house with my parents and the kids... OR
.... just hang out and watch the fireworks, fill up the pool in the back, make
sandwhiches and wait for the fireworks. That didn't happen bcause there was a
block party going on at his moms house and the kids wanted to go to it. I agreed
they could go half the day and spend it with him since he was going there as
well - as long as he brought them back early enough for me to spend time with
them. He left at 5:30 and told me he'd be back in ONE HOUR... one hour turned
into TWO and THREE... and when I called him around 8:30 to find out where he was
because it was getting dark and late and I wanted to be with the kids for the
fireworks... he got upset, told me shut the f*** up (nice, right)?  - sarcasm -
and that he'll be there. When I told him he had 10 minutes to get the kids
home... he ignored me, and I decided he was NOT going to bring them ... he told
me they were having too much fun and he wasn't taking them away from it, and
that they'll have fireworks there.   I pretty much knew he was being an ass
tword me , doing it out of spite - and didn't let him get to me as far as he
could see.  Don't get me wrong... at home.... I was in tears.... I wanted to see
my kids faces light up watching the fireworks with them, but I wouldn't let him
know that HE upset me.  I got ready and spent the night with a friend
celebrating the 4th.

     This past Saturday
was MY day with the kids.  I decided I was going to either take them to the
park, or to the pond. I wasn't sure.  But, I knew I was going to get them out of
the house to do something. He comes and tells me Friday night the kids and him
are going to his aunt and uncles house to go swimming in their pool Saturday.  I
told him, "No, you're not! It's my day and I'd like to spend it with them!"....
he got pissed off and told me I knew about it. I didn't know about it. What he
said on the 4th of July was that his uncle invited him and the kids to the pool
but he wasn't going. I thought he meant on the 4th... not Saturday. He never
made it clear and HE SAID HE WASN'T GOING!!!!!  So not only did I know it was
Saturday, I didn't know he was even going.
He sprung it on me
Friday night as I said. The 2 oldest were fine with not going. I told them they
weren't and couldn't because it was MY DAY, and we'd do something. They didn't
even argue. HE argued with me... so, Saturday morning, it was pretty hot out, so
I decided , "Let them go!".... I knew if we went somewhere, they'd complain
about being hot and hungry, so if they could swim and eat some good Puerto Rican
food... whatever... !  I was nice about it.... I let them go. We seemed pretty
civil after that.... but.....

I'm not going
into details... the civil didn't last!  We got into a huge fight Saturday night
and from then on, I've always told him if he doesn't want to see me, that's
fine... he told me I'm the mother of his kids and he would never not want to see
me. As of right now, we're trying to be civil but it's not working... we can
never be on the same page at the same time so it's difficult.
I asked the
court for NO CHILD SUPPORT so they reserved it incase I ever DO need it. He kept
thinking I'd be a bitch and hit him with child support and I guess I showed him
I kept my word, huh? So, all I asked him for was peace!  I do NOT want BABY
DADDY drama... As I get older, I want PEACE and happiness. If we could get along
and talk only for the kids... I'm fine with that... but, he's the type to stir
up shit and loves to piss me off. I really do try to get along with him the best
I can, and have even told him I want us both to be happy and peaceful. We'll see
what happens with that. Hell, I think after NO CHILD SUPPORT... he should try
his hardest to be nice.

Not only that but the
judge said in IL. - child support is mandatory so he got lucky to have her be so
nice and not add it.
So - we wait for the final paper in the
mail saying it's offical... and I get to re-use my old last name/maiden name
again .... and it's over! 
I have the kids 4 days a week..from
Wed. to Sunday Morning... and he has them 3... and we'll hopefully eventually
get into this holiday thing peacefully. 

    In other news,
I have to take medication and have check up's every 6 months in order to drive
for a black out/Migraine/whatever thing they want to call it. Springfield then
has to get the paperwork that it's safe for me to drive, and approve it once my
Dr. signs it. For the last few months, I've been dragging taking my meds... but
I just got a re-fill and have been emptying the bottle pretty quick. I went for
the blood work today and will hopefully have my levels high enough to be
approved to drive again...and once my license is uncanceled - I can then re-new
it and get back on the road ... ugh! I miss driving and love it ssssoooo much.



  and, besides that....today
is my Uncle Tony's birthday... R.I.P. -  my oldest daughter called him BANANA
NOSE because of his big long nose... he loved my kids dearly... especially my
oldest when she was small because when he'd be on the floor eating a foot long
sub sandwhich and a big glass of pop, she'd lay right next to him and wait for
him to give her some. He'd look at us, smile and look at her saying, "what?
what? what do you want? would you look at this?? Is she waiting for some
thing?". LMAO.... he'd always share with her. The last night he saw her was on A
Sunday in 2004... and he was gone Monday. I thank God he got to see her one last
time ... but it's just sad because I know he would have loved to see them now as
well. I know he's probably one of their Guardian Angels, but it would have still
been nice to have him around.
As for me... I use to laugh when
he always had different women left and right. He was a big time player... I
remember one time he brought a woman to the house and I was on the porch. She
had gone to the car for something and he told me I have to respect her because
she was going to be my aunt... I laughed and told him, "Yeah okay...you'll have
another one in a few days!"... he told me, 'don't say that...' a few days
later... she was gone and he had another one! LMAO... he was good tho... he
didn't caught until the day of his wake when two main women he was always dating
and messing with showed up and found out about each other..LOL..

I miss the man tho.

He's
probably partying up there in the big blue and making everyone laugh like he did
down here on Earth....

    But hell, I think
for now... that's all I have going on...
Until next
time,

Peace and
Love,

Shel

            And, I must be one of his stronger ones.. lmao... 
   
   So, I've said this on my ABOUT ME PAGE..and I'll say it again -  since Xanga closed it's doors (the site I use to write on), did a fund raiser to keep their site open, and then made it a paying site - and very much complicated... I don't have the time to try to figure that out and when I found WEEBLY.... I fell in love. It's easy to use, it's fast, it's simple..and I really like the layouts and easy access to every-thing. So - this is where I'll be writing from now on.

    Now, when I say I must be on of God's stronger soldiers... I carry a lot of weight on my shoulders and I'm a hot mess right now.  I'm going through a lot, from being between jobs due to traveling issues, and medical problems, to relationship issues, and beyond.... I won't get into everything right now... because I just don't have the time or energy , but as I begin this...I look forward to the journey of taking you through the rest of my life ...good, bad, happy, sad, stressful, etc. I write for everything..celebrations, parties, I write about things my kids do or say , I write about other mommy things... I write about the struggles as a divorced woman who deals with her ex-husband as civil as possible.... I write about many things..random and such... !   I enjoy writing and it's like therapy to me..and A lot cheaper , too!  LOL...
I do believe my faith in God and the fact that I believe everything happens for his own reasons and good reasons at that... keeps me totally sane in this crazy life, and after years of up's and down's...I'm currently trying to get the up's back and work on me to be as successful as possible for my kids and I. 

I'm not going to lie and sit here and pretend everything is all good. I don't sugar coat anything and I'm as real as can be... I'm a hot mess right now, and with everything I'm going through...all the emotions I'm dealing with and current situations, I try my hardest to be a soldier - and to be strong knowing that if God's with me - nobody can be against me... and all I can do is pray and trust him for every-thing.

With that being said,
I'm divorced as I said... a mother of 3... trying to work 2 jobs and save money for a car, new apartment, City tickets and Christmas shopping... it's going to be a long next few months! LOL... but, If you notice through my writings in the future... I have a great sense of humor and can usually find the "funny" in any situation , good or bad! 

S0, save this site.... check back often... and I hope you enjoy reading my writings as much as I love writing them.

Peace and Love as I always say,
Shel.