Is exactly how I've felt about the last few weeks.
July 2nd... everything with mine and my ex-husbands court stuff and child Visitation / Joint Custody hearing and such.. were finalized.
We went to court at 12 PM like we were scheduled by the Domestic Relations
division, and told what paperwork we were suppose to bring. We got to court on
time, sat in the court room waiting for another case to be finished, and the
judge asked who we were. When we told her, she said we were't on the schedule
until 2 PM. Looking at the time , I knew we were NOT going to be out of there
any time soon... but when the judge said she would take our case right then and
there just to get us out of there and be polite, we were thrilled . It was
nice of her because she didn't have to do that for us. However, when she
checked our paperwork, we were missing a few things , so ... she told the Court
room sheriff and the court room reporter to let her know when we were ready. The
reporter and sheriff gave us the extra papers we were missing, helped us fill
them out... and we were told to give them to the court room clerk... now this
woman - had the worst attitude and you could tell she didn't want to be there,
nor deal with us! She didn't help us find anything, I had a stack of paperwork
and she wasn't telling me what she needed except , "page this and it should look
like that", and when I couldn't find it, I tried handing her the stack ... she
gave me a dirty look and told me, "I ain't trying to look thru all that"... no
smile or nothing. Everyone at the court house was pretty nice except this clerk
. When we were finally ready, the judge was brought back out. Cisco (ex hubby)
was nervous because it was a female judge , but we were told she was really
sweet and would help us out if she could . (very true... she was a doll...) an
older white woman with blondish/graying hair...and just so gentle and kind.
When she came back out and we were sworn in,
she went through the paperwork, asked about our kids, and asked where our
Custody arrangement papers were. I never got anything like that and told her I
didn't , so she gave us the packet of paperwork we had to fill out and told us
that's the most important thing because what she's worried about, is the kids.
She told us she would see us back at 2 PM... Ahhhhhh !!!! LOL... the court
reporter walked out with us and explained to us better how to fill it out and
just to do the best we can coming up with what days we each want the kids and
what's going to work out best for us and them. She told us the judge pretty much
will go along with anything we come up with as long as the court knows the kids
are taken care of 7 days a week and will be okay.
So, Cisco and
I sat in the waiting area with the tables and came up with a plan together. He
decided he could take the kids on Sundays and Mondays since he's off... and was
trying to come up with another day. He's sometimes off on Fridays, but wants a
day for himself to go out and have fun - and he deserves it so I was fine with
that. So - he decided since he's off on Tuesdays, he'd just have the kids 3
days in a row - and I'd have them the other 4. The judge said the back pages
were for holiday custody - but if we didn't want to do that, and just figure
that out between us when holidays came (because plans can change)... that was
fine so we left that blank . However, I kind of wish we did the holiday one
as well.... I'll get into that in a few.
At 2 PM, we went back into the court room, and was told to give the custody
agreement to the clerk. This "not so nice" woman gave us an attitude and tells
me I need 3 copies of the custody agreement and need to go downstairs to make
those copies . She had an attitude about it as well like we were suppose to know
already. When she walked out, Cisco asked the reporter, "Is she always like
this? She has a bad attitude... she could be a little nicer... she doesn't have
to be like that or talk to us like that".... I looked at Cisco with
this
July 2nd... everything with mine and my ex-husbands court stuff and child Visitation / Joint Custody hearing and such.. were finalized.
We went to court at 12 PM like we were scheduled by the Domestic Relations
division, and told what paperwork we were suppose to bring. We got to court on
time, sat in the court room waiting for another case to be finished, and the
judge asked who we were. When we told her, she said we were't on the schedule
until 2 PM. Looking at the time , I knew we were NOT going to be out of there
any time soon... but when the judge said she would take our case right then and
there just to get us out of there and be polite, we were thrilled . It was
nice of her because she didn't have to do that for us. However, when she
checked our paperwork, we were missing a few things , so ... she told the Court
room sheriff and the court room reporter to let her know when we were ready. The
reporter and sheriff gave us the extra papers we were missing, helped us fill
them out... and we were told to give them to the court room clerk... now this
woman - had the worst attitude and you could tell she didn't want to be there,
nor deal with us! She didn't help us find anything, I had a stack of paperwork
and she wasn't telling me what she needed except , "page this and it should look
like that", and when I couldn't find it, I tried handing her the stack ... she
gave me a dirty look and told me, "I ain't trying to look thru all that"... no
smile or nothing. Everyone at the court house was pretty nice except this clerk
. When we were finally ready, the judge was brought back out. Cisco (ex hubby)
was nervous because it was a female judge , but we were told she was really
sweet and would help us out if she could . (very true... she was a doll...) an
older white woman with blondish/graying hair...and just so gentle and kind.
When she came back out and we were sworn in,
she went through the paperwork, asked about our kids, and asked where our
Custody arrangement papers were. I never got anything like that and told her I
didn't , so she gave us the packet of paperwork we had to fill out and told us
that's the most important thing because what she's worried about, is the kids.
She told us she would see us back at 2 PM... Ahhhhhh !!!! LOL... the court
reporter walked out with us and explained to us better how to fill it out and
just to do the best we can coming up with what days we each want the kids and
what's going to work out best for us and them. She told us the judge pretty much
will go along with anything we come up with as long as the court knows the kids
are taken care of 7 days a week and will be okay.
So, Cisco and
I sat in the waiting area with the tables and came up with a plan together. He
decided he could take the kids on Sundays and Mondays since he's off... and was
trying to come up with another day. He's sometimes off on Fridays, but wants a
day for himself to go out and have fun - and he deserves it so I was fine with
that. So - he decided since he's off on Tuesdays, he'd just have the kids 3
days in a row - and I'd have them the other 4. The judge said the back pages
were for holiday custody - but if we didn't want to do that, and just figure
that out between us when holidays came (because plans can change)... that was
fine so we left that blank . However, I kind of wish we did the holiday one
as well.... I'll get into that in a few.
At 2 PM, we went back into the court room, and was told to give the custody
agreement to the clerk. This "not so nice" woman gave us an attitude and tells
me I need 3 copies of the custody agreement and need to go downstairs to make
those copies . She had an attitude about it as well like we were suppose to know
already. When she walked out, Cisco asked the reporter, "Is she always like
this? She has a bad attitude... she could be a little nicer... she doesn't have
to be like that or talk to us like that".... I looked at Cisco with
this
Look .... and said, "Cisco, this is NOT the place you want to use your FREEDOM
OF SPEECH! ".... the reporter laughed, agreed with me and told him, "In court,
you just kind of have to shut up and suck it up... she's always like that tho,
don't feel bad. She's like that with me and I work with her".
So - we did
the copies, the judge came back out at 2 PM , agreed with the arrangement we
came up with, and awarded main custody to me - and he has the kids 3 days a
week. Now, the whole holiday thing.... smh! I think this is where were going to
have issues. This is why I wish we would have done the holiday agreement now.
4th of July this year - I wanted the kids.
I was probably going to go to my Uncles house with my parents and the kids... OR
.... just hang out and watch the fireworks, fill up the pool in the back, make
sandwhiches and wait for the fireworks. That didn't happen bcause there was a
block party going on at his moms house and the kids wanted to go to it. I agreed
they could go half the day and spend it with him since he was going there as
well - as long as he brought them back early enough for me to spend time with
them. He left at 5:30 and told me he'd be back in ONE HOUR... one hour turned
into TWO and THREE... and when I called him around 8:30 to find out where he was
because it was getting dark and late and I wanted to be with the kids for the
fireworks... he got upset, told me shut the f*** up (nice, right)? - sarcasm -
and that he'll be there. When I told him he had 10 minutes to get the kids
home... he ignored me, and I decided he was NOT going to bring them ... he told
me they were having too much fun and he wasn't taking them away from it, and
that they'll have fireworks there. I pretty much knew he was being an ass
tword me , doing it out of spite - and didn't let him get to me as far as he
could see. Don't get me wrong... at home.... I was in tears.... I wanted to see
my kids faces light up watching the fireworks with them, but I wouldn't let him
know that HE upset me. I got ready and spent the night with a friend
celebrating the 4th.
This past Saturday
was MY day with the kids. I decided I was going to either take them to the
park, or to the pond. I wasn't sure. But, I knew I was going to get them out of
the house to do something. He comes and tells me Friday night the kids and him
are going to his aunt and uncles house to go swimming in their pool Saturday. I
told him, "No, you're not! It's my day and I'd like to spend it with them!"....
he got pissed off and told me I knew about it. I didn't know about it. What he
said on the 4th of July was that his uncle invited him and the kids to the pool
but he wasn't going. I thought he meant on the 4th... not Saturday. He never
made it clear and HE SAID HE WASN'T GOING!!!!! So not only did I know it was
Saturday, I didn't know he was even going.
He sprung it on me
Friday night as I said. The 2 oldest were fine with not going. I told them they
weren't and couldn't because it was MY DAY, and we'd do something. They didn't
even argue. HE argued with me... so, Saturday morning, it was pretty hot out, so
I decided , "Let them go!".... I knew if we went somewhere, they'd complain
about being hot and hungry, so if they could swim and eat some good Puerto Rican
food... whatever... ! I was nice about it.... I let them go. We seemed pretty
civil after that.... but.....
I'm not going
into details... the civil didn't last! We got into a huge fight Saturday night
and from then on, I've always told him if he doesn't want to see me, that's
fine... he told me I'm the mother of his kids and he would never not want to see
me. As of right now, we're trying to be civil but it's not working... we can
never be on the same page at the same time so it's difficult.
I asked the
court for NO CHILD SUPPORT so they reserved it incase I ever DO need it. He kept
thinking I'd be a bitch and hit him with child support and I guess I showed him
I kept my word, huh? So, all I asked him for was peace! I do NOT want BABY
DADDY drama... As I get older, I want PEACE and happiness. If we could get along
and talk only for the kids... I'm fine with that... but, he's the type to stir
up shit and loves to piss me off. I really do try to get along with him the best
I can, and have even told him I want us both to be happy and peaceful. We'll see
what happens with that. Hell, I think after NO CHILD SUPPORT... he should try
his hardest to be nice.
Not only that but the
judge said in IL. - child support is mandatory so he got lucky to have her be so
nice and not add it.
So - we wait for the final paper in the
mail saying it's offical... and I get to re-use my old last name/maiden name
again .... and it's over!
I have the kids 4 days a week..from
Wed. to Sunday Morning... and he has them 3... and we'll hopefully eventually
get into this holiday thing peacefully.
In other news,
I have to take medication and have check up's every 6 months in order to drive
for a black out/Migraine/whatever thing they want to call it. Springfield then
has to get the paperwork that it's safe for me to drive, and approve it once my
Dr. signs it. For the last few months, I've been dragging taking my meds... but
I just got a re-fill and have been emptying the bottle pretty quick. I went for
the blood work today and will hopefully have my levels high enough to be
approved to drive again...and once my license is uncanceled - I can then re-new
it and get back on the road ... ugh! I miss driving and love it ssssoooo much.
and, besides that....today
is my Uncle Tony's birthday... R.I.P. - my oldest daughter called him BANANA
NOSE because of his big long nose... he loved my kids dearly... especially my
oldest when she was small because when he'd be on the floor eating a foot long
sub sandwhich and a big glass of pop, she'd lay right next to him and wait for
him to give her some. He'd look at us, smile and look at her saying, "what?
what? what do you want? would you look at this?? Is she waiting for some
thing?". LMAO.... he'd always share with her. The last night he saw her was on A
Sunday in 2004... and he was gone Monday. I thank God he got to see her one last
time ... but it's just sad because I know he would have loved to see them now as
well. I know he's probably one of their Guardian Angels, but it would have still
been nice to have him around.
As for me... I use to laugh when
he always had different women left and right. He was a big time player... I
remember one time he brought a woman to the house and I was on the porch. She
had gone to the car for something and he told me I have to respect her because
she was going to be my aunt... I laughed and told him, "Yeah okay...you'll have
another one in a few days!"... he told me, 'don't say that...' a few days
later... she was gone and he had another one! LMAO... he was good tho... he
didn't caught until the day of his wake when two main women he was always dating
and messing with showed up and found out about each other..LOL..
I miss the man tho.
He's
probably partying up there in the big blue and making everyone laugh like he did
down here on Earth....
But hell, I think
for now... that's all I have going on...
Until next
time,
Peace and
Love,
Shel
OF SPEECH! ".... the reporter laughed, agreed with me and told him, "In court,
you just kind of have to shut up and suck it up... she's always like that tho,
don't feel bad. She's like that with me and I work with her".
So - we did
the copies, the judge came back out at 2 PM , agreed with the arrangement we
came up with, and awarded main custody to me - and he has the kids 3 days a
week. Now, the whole holiday thing.... smh! I think this is where were going to
have issues. This is why I wish we would have done the holiday agreement now.
4th of July this year - I wanted the kids.
I was probably going to go to my Uncles house with my parents and the kids... OR
.... just hang out and watch the fireworks, fill up the pool in the back, make
sandwhiches and wait for the fireworks. That didn't happen bcause there was a
block party going on at his moms house and the kids wanted to go to it. I agreed
they could go half the day and spend it with him since he was going there as
well - as long as he brought them back early enough for me to spend time with
them. He left at 5:30 and told me he'd be back in ONE HOUR... one hour turned
into TWO and THREE... and when I called him around 8:30 to find out where he was
because it was getting dark and late and I wanted to be with the kids for the
fireworks... he got upset, told me shut the f*** up (nice, right)? - sarcasm -
and that he'll be there. When I told him he had 10 minutes to get the kids
home... he ignored me, and I decided he was NOT going to bring them ... he told
me they were having too much fun and he wasn't taking them away from it, and
that they'll have fireworks there. I pretty much knew he was being an ass
tword me , doing it out of spite - and didn't let him get to me as far as he
could see. Don't get me wrong... at home.... I was in tears.... I wanted to see
my kids faces light up watching the fireworks with them, but I wouldn't let him
know that HE upset me. I got ready and spent the night with a friend
celebrating the 4th.
This past Saturday
was MY day with the kids. I decided I was going to either take them to the
park, or to the pond. I wasn't sure. But, I knew I was going to get them out of
the house to do something. He comes and tells me Friday night the kids and him
are going to his aunt and uncles house to go swimming in their pool Saturday. I
told him, "No, you're not! It's my day and I'd like to spend it with them!"....
he got pissed off and told me I knew about it. I didn't know about it. What he
said on the 4th of July was that his uncle invited him and the kids to the pool
but he wasn't going. I thought he meant on the 4th... not Saturday. He never
made it clear and HE SAID HE WASN'T GOING!!!!! So not only did I know it was
Saturday, I didn't know he was even going.
He sprung it on me
Friday night as I said. The 2 oldest were fine with not going. I told them they
weren't and couldn't because it was MY DAY, and we'd do something. They didn't
even argue. HE argued with me... so, Saturday morning, it was pretty hot out, so
I decided , "Let them go!".... I knew if we went somewhere, they'd complain
about being hot and hungry, so if they could swim and eat some good Puerto Rican
food... whatever... ! I was nice about it.... I let them go. We seemed pretty
civil after that.... but.....
I'm not going
into details... the civil didn't last! We got into a huge fight Saturday night
and from then on, I've always told him if he doesn't want to see me, that's
fine... he told me I'm the mother of his kids and he would never not want to see
me. As of right now, we're trying to be civil but it's not working... we can
never be on the same page at the same time so it's difficult.
I asked the
court for NO CHILD SUPPORT so they reserved it incase I ever DO need it. He kept
thinking I'd be a bitch and hit him with child support and I guess I showed him
I kept my word, huh? So, all I asked him for was peace! I do NOT want BABY
DADDY drama... As I get older, I want PEACE and happiness. If we could get along
and talk only for the kids... I'm fine with that... but, he's the type to stir
up shit and loves to piss me off. I really do try to get along with him the best
I can, and have even told him I want us both to be happy and peaceful. We'll see
what happens with that. Hell, I think after NO CHILD SUPPORT... he should try
his hardest to be nice.
Not only that but the
judge said in IL. - child support is mandatory so he got lucky to have her be so
nice and not add it.
So - we wait for the final paper in the
mail saying it's offical... and I get to re-use my old last name/maiden name
again .... and it's over!
I have the kids 4 days a week..from
Wed. to Sunday Morning... and he has them 3... and we'll hopefully eventually
get into this holiday thing peacefully.
In other news,
I have to take medication and have check up's every 6 months in order to drive
for a black out/Migraine/whatever thing they want to call it. Springfield then
has to get the paperwork that it's safe for me to drive, and approve it once my
Dr. signs it. For the last few months, I've been dragging taking my meds... but
I just got a re-fill and have been emptying the bottle pretty quick. I went for
the blood work today and will hopefully have my levels high enough to be
approved to drive again...and once my license is uncanceled - I can then re-new
it and get back on the road ... ugh! I miss driving and love it ssssoooo much.
and, besides that....today
is my Uncle Tony's birthday... R.I.P. - my oldest daughter called him BANANA
NOSE because of his big long nose... he loved my kids dearly... especially my
oldest when she was small because when he'd be on the floor eating a foot long
sub sandwhich and a big glass of pop, she'd lay right next to him and wait for
him to give her some. He'd look at us, smile and look at her saying, "what?
what? what do you want? would you look at this?? Is she waiting for some
thing?". LMAO.... he'd always share with her. The last night he saw her was on A
Sunday in 2004... and he was gone Monday. I thank God he got to see her one last
time ... but it's just sad because I know he would have loved to see them now as
well. I know he's probably one of their Guardian Angels, but it would have still
been nice to have him around.
As for me... I use to laugh when
he always had different women left and right. He was a big time player... I
remember one time he brought a woman to the house and I was on the porch. She
had gone to the car for something and he told me I have to respect her because
she was going to be my aunt... I laughed and told him, "Yeah okay...you'll have
another one in a few days!"... he told me, 'don't say that...' a few days
later... she was gone and he had another one! LMAO... he was good tho... he
didn't caught until the day of his wake when two main women he was always dating
and messing with showed up and found out about each other..LOL..
I miss the man tho.
He's
probably partying up there in the big blue and making everyone laugh like he did
down here on Earth....
But hell, I think
for now... that's all I have going on...
Until next
time,
Peace and
Love,
Shel
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