:(
I lost my Uncle Manuel yesterday to Cancer. He was only really my uncle by Marriage from being married to my dads sister - but still - I considered him family although they've been divorced for years now. He went through his up's and down's in life and struggled a lot, but eventually cleaned up his life, got his act together -and then was taken by Cancer. He passed away the other day at Midnight (R.I.P.)... and it bothered me because I just saw him about a month or two ago and he looked nice... we joked around and something was said by my cousins wife that he wanted no part of... and we all started laughing when he threw his hands up like he had nothing to say about what was being said. LOL... so, my last memory of him was a good one thankfully... but, I still never got to say Good-bye officially before he passed. I tried getting up there to see him the other day because my cousin told me he wasn't doing good, and wasn't expected to make it through the night, but I had no baby-sitter so... I wasn't able to go. When I heard he passed, even if I didn't see the man a lot, talk to the man a lot... it's still family to me as I said. It's still a shitty situation and I wish I had that chance to see him one last time. To say Good-bye like a few of my other cousins and family members did. It's so weird too because I heard that I believe it was either my aunt Tami or my cousins wife Tami was on the way to the hospital to see him, and was only 5 minutes away when he passed ....
It brought me back to when I lost my grandma to Cancer in 2008. I had spend every single night in the beautiful Hospice nursing home she spent her last days in... and while she was in A coma.. I talked to her, I tried to wake her up, I tried to get her to eat , I tried to do anything to get her to talk to me again... nothing! The last day she was alive... I woke up at the nursing home .. (this is when I had a car)... and I kissed her, told her I'd be back after I went home, ate and showered, and she woke up... she literally woke up, smiled , and closed her eyes again. I thought maybe there was hope for her, but about 2 PM,my mother called me from work and asked if I was still at the nursing home. I said NO but that I would call and check up on her before going back. As soon as I called, the nurse almost cried when she answered the phone and told me, "Oh sweetie... you and your grandmother must have been very close because just as the phone was ringing, she took her last breath!"... I cried so hard. I was very close to her, and one thing I did NOT want... is for her to be alone without any family there when she passed away, and she was. The nurse told me she wasn't alone thou... when her breathing started changing a few hours after I left, the nurses called the Priest who said prayers over here, told her it was okay to go home to God -and that was it. I had already showered and was going back right after I got ready, but instead.... my brother , ex hubby and I had the task of going to the bank where my mom worked..and telling her her mom had passed away. It was horrible. And, I never officially got to say Good-bye to her either before she went...
Or my Nana, or my grand-fathers.... I remember for one of my grandpas.. (my dads dad we called Pap Pap)... I begged my mother to let me stay home from school the day they were going to see him. He died of Cancer as well... she told me he wasn't going to die that day, and I had to go to school. When she picked me up, she felt awful telling me he had passed away and told me how sorry she was. I didn't get to say Good-bye to him...
Or a few friends I lost so suddenly...
I've lost a lot of people in my life I never got to say Good-bye to and just thought, "I'll see them tomorrow. I'll talk to them tomorrow...."..... sometimes, there IS NO TOMORROW! and sadly... while you're thinking there is... you just never know. I started thinking about friends of mine who are aruging right no and no longer speaking to each other... and fights Mr. A and I get into... and fights ex-hubby and I have, fights my brother and I have had plenty of times and went without talking for ssssoooo long because we're both stubborn assholes when it comes to our fights... and, just how life is so short and you never know when your time is up... or when your loved ones time is up.
Like the quote says... you never know when your loved ones heart will stop beating and you won't have the chance to say Good-bye ... or I'm sorry... or, ask for forgiveness for wronging someone... if you're arguing with someone and not speaking and think, "whatever... eventually we'll talk".... life doesn't work that way... sometimes, there won't be any "eventually", because that person may just drop and die... find out they have Cancer and be taken faster than you can blink... get into a car accident and be killed instantly... hit by a car.... anything could happen. I know this all sounds crazy right now but it all makes perfect sense if you really think about it.
One of my good friends from back in the days - her, her sister, and their mother had gone swimming at a relatives house and the mother died right there in the pool. She went underwater and the her kids thought she was joking... come to find out she was dead. Irregular heart beat.... her heart just stopped .
In my kids school - there's a little girl in Kindergarten whose completely bald. She has Lukemia... 5 years old! 5 with Lukemia... I could never imagine how it is to be that little girls parents... and - she walks around with such a big smile on her face like nothing is wrong. She has so many friends, and she's enjoying her time right now... and who knows how long she has? If she'll beat it or not...
Life is too short to not be talking to someone you've argued with...
Life is too short for hate and anger...
Life is too short to think "I'll talk to him or her tomorrow"...
Life is too short to be stubborn, say hateful things, and not apologize for your actions today.
Don't wait until you're standing over someones grave crying and telling them how much you miss them to tell them you love them, or you're sorry for whatever you did, or - just to tell them how much you need them. DO IT NOW....! Don't wait until you can no longer say Good-bye to cherish the memories, the way someone laughs, their smile, the things they do for you, the little things that mean the most, or good times you've shared together... because a few things I've learned from losing so many people I never got to say Good-bye to, I love you to, or I'm sorry to..... is this :
I lost my Uncle Manuel yesterday to Cancer. He was only really my uncle by Marriage from being married to my dads sister - but still - I considered him family although they've been divorced for years now. He went through his up's and down's in life and struggled a lot, but eventually cleaned up his life, got his act together -and then was taken by Cancer. He passed away the other day at Midnight (R.I.P.)... and it bothered me because I just saw him about a month or two ago and he looked nice... we joked around and something was said by my cousins wife that he wanted no part of... and we all started laughing when he threw his hands up like he had nothing to say about what was being said. LOL... so, my last memory of him was a good one thankfully... but, I still never got to say Good-bye officially before he passed. I tried getting up there to see him the other day because my cousin told me he wasn't doing good, and wasn't expected to make it through the night, but I had no baby-sitter so... I wasn't able to go. When I heard he passed, even if I didn't see the man a lot, talk to the man a lot... it's still family to me as I said. It's still a shitty situation and I wish I had that chance to see him one last time. To say Good-bye like a few of my other cousins and family members did. It's so weird too because I heard that I believe it was either my aunt Tami or my cousins wife Tami was on the way to the hospital to see him, and was only 5 minutes away when he passed ....
It brought me back to when I lost my grandma to Cancer in 2008. I had spend every single night in the beautiful Hospice nursing home she spent her last days in... and while she was in A coma.. I talked to her, I tried to wake her up, I tried to get her to eat , I tried to do anything to get her to talk to me again... nothing! The last day she was alive... I woke up at the nursing home .. (this is when I had a car)... and I kissed her, told her I'd be back after I went home, ate and showered, and she woke up... she literally woke up, smiled , and closed her eyes again. I thought maybe there was hope for her, but about 2 PM,my mother called me from work and asked if I was still at the nursing home. I said NO but that I would call and check up on her before going back. As soon as I called, the nurse almost cried when she answered the phone and told me, "Oh sweetie... you and your grandmother must have been very close because just as the phone was ringing, she took her last breath!"... I cried so hard. I was very close to her, and one thing I did NOT want... is for her to be alone without any family there when she passed away, and she was. The nurse told me she wasn't alone thou... when her breathing started changing a few hours after I left, the nurses called the Priest who said prayers over here, told her it was okay to go home to God -and that was it. I had already showered and was going back right after I got ready, but instead.... my brother , ex hubby and I had the task of going to the bank where my mom worked..and telling her her mom had passed away. It was horrible. And, I never officially got to say Good-bye to her either before she went...
Or my Nana, or my grand-fathers.... I remember for one of my grandpas.. (my dads dad we called Pap Pap)... I begged my mother to let me stay home from school the day they were going to see him. He died of Cancer as well... she told me he wasn't going to die that day, and I had to go to school. When she picked me up, she felt awful telling me he had passed away and told me how sorry she was. I didn't get to say Good-bye to him...
Or a few friends I lost so suddenly...
I've lost a lot of people in my life I never got to say Good-bye to and just thought, "I'll see them tomorrow. I'll talk to them tomorrow...."..... sometimes, there IS NO TOMORROW! and sadly... while you're thinking there is... you just never know. I started thinking about friends of mine who are aruging right no and no longer speaking to each other... and fights Mr. A and I get into... and fights ex-hubby and I have, fights my brother and I have had plenty of times and went without talking for ssssoooo long because we're both stubborn assholes when it comes to our fights... and, just how life is so short and you never know when your time is up... or when your loved ones time is up.
Like the quote says... you never know when your loved ones heart will stop beating and you won't have the chance to say Good-bye ... or I'm sorry... or, ask for forgiveness for wronging someone... if you're arguing with someone and not speaking and think, "whatever... eventually we'll talk".... life doesn't work that way... sometimes, there won't be any "eventually", because that person may just drop and die... find out they have Cancer and be taken faster than you can blink... get into a car accident and be killed instantly... hit by a car.... anything could happen. I know this all sounds crazy right now but it all makes perfect sense if you really think about it.
One of my good friends from back in the days - her, her sister, and their mother had gone swimming at a relatives house and the mother died right there in the pool. She went underwater and the her kids thought she was joking... come to find out she was dead. Irregular heart beat.... her heart just stopped .
In my kids school - there's a little girl in Kindergarten whose completely bald. She has Lukemia... 5 years old! 5 with Lukemia... I could never imagine how it is to be that little girls parents... and - she walks around with such a big smile on her face like nothing is wrong. She has so many friends, and she's enjoying her time right now... and who knows how long she has? If she'll beat it or not...
Life is too short to not be talking to someone you've argued with...
Life is too short for hate and anger...
Life is too short to think "I'll talk to him or her tomorrow"...
Life is too short to be stubborn, say hateful things, and not apologize for your actions today.
Don't wait until you're standing over someones grave crying and telling them how much you miss them to tell them you love them, or you're sorry for whatever you did, or - just to tell them how much you need them. DO IT NOW....! Don't wait until you can no longer say Good-bye to cherish the memories, the way someone laughs, their smile, the things they do for you, the little things that mean the most, or good times you've shared together... because a few things I've learned from losing so many people I never got to say Good-bye to, I love you to, or I'm sorry to..... is this :
and believe me, if you're too stubborn to say you're sorry to someone you've hurt, wronged in some way, if you're too scared or stubborn to tell them you love them, or show you need them, if you're thinking there's always tomorrow... when they're no longer next to you, you can no longer hold and kiss them, you can no longer call and hear their voice, laugh, see their smile, etc... those flashblacks of all the good times will come..and they will break you down.. and trust me when I say, you will regret what you did or didn't do TODAY! ....
AND
my words of advice ..........
AND
my words of advice ..........
So - with that being said... with all the people I've lost and never got to say Good-bye to because I thought they had tomorrow... with everything crazy in the world going on right now...with all that COULD happen to you , me, whoever....
I want to take the time to say to whoever is reading this....
If I've ever hurt you, made you angry, upset you in some ways..whatever it may be...I am sorry! If we don't see each other often or talk often but we are in contact... I love you all, and wish you all the best... As my brother tells me, "Don't tell me Good-bye because good-bye is forever..so I'll see you later"... lol.. and on a serious note... really cherish your loved ones NOW while you still have them because tonight - God may call them home... tomorrow...he may call them home... the day after...you just NEVER know. Don't wait until it's too late and you're saying to yourself, "I should have done or said this..." OR...even worse, "I shouldn't have said or done that....."..... !
No matter what the situation is... never take loved ones for granted, and don't go crying at their wakes and funerals when you do and didn't take my advice!
Hell, my brother and I didn't talk for 3 months one time over a fight we had and we ended up crying and praying together when our grandmother was in the hospital dying of Cancer... we told each other how sorry we are, and how stupid it was to be fighting... it should never be like that... waiting until someone is dying or dead to bring people together... or, to feel bad for not talking to, apologizing to, or even ignoring the person who did die and now you wish they were here so you could make ammends... do it now!
As my grandma use to tell me, "NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY AT SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF THEY'LL / YOU'LL DIE IN THEIR SLEEP AND YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"....
or... as the other saying goes, " ALWAYS LEAVE THE ONES YOU LOVE WITH KIND AND CARING WORDS BECAUSE YOU NEVER IF WHEN THEY WALK OUT OF YOUR SITE...IF THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU'LL EVER SEE THEM ALIVE!".....
too too true... please ... cherish who you love and have today!
With that being said,
R.I.P. uncle Manuel...
Peace and Love to everyone else,
Shel.
I want to take the time to say to whoever is reading this....
If I've ever hurt you, made you angry, upset you in some ways..whatever it may be...I am sorry! If we don't see each other often or talk often but we are in contact... I love you all, and wish you all the best... As my brother tells me, "Don't tell me Good-bye because good-bye is forever..so I'll see you later"... lol.. and on a serious note... really cherish your loved ones NOW while you still have them because tonight - God may call them home... tomorrow...he may call them home... the day after...you just NEVER know. Don't wait until it's too late and you're saying to yourself, "I should have done or said this..." OR...even worse, "I shouldn't have said or done that....."..... !
No matter what the situation is... never take loved ones for granted, and don't go crying at their wakes and funerals when you do and didn't take my advice!
Hell, my brother and I didn't talk for 3 months one time over a fight we had and we ended up crying and praying together when our grandmother was in the hospital dying of Cancer... we told each other how sorry we are, and how stupid it was to be fighting... it should never be like that... waiting until someone is dying or dead to bring people together... or, to feel bad for not talking to, apologizing to, or even ignoring the person who did die and now you wish they were here so you could make ammends... do it now!
As my grandma use to tell me, "NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY AT SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF THEY'LL / YOU'LL DIE IN THEIR SLEEP AND YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"....
or... as the other saying goes, " ALWAYS LEAVE THE ONES YOU LOVE WITH KIND AND CARING WORDS BECAUSE YOU NEVER IF WHEN THEY WALK OUT OF YOUR SITE...IF THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU'LL EVER SEE THEM ALIVE!".....
too too true... please ... cherish who you love and have today!
With that being said,
R.I.P. uncle Manuel...
Peace and Love to everyone else,
Shel.
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